cloudless sky, with hundreds of innocent
human creatures all around me--I, Hester Dethridge, saw, for the first
time, the Appearance which is appointed to haunt me for the rest of my
life.

"I had had a terrible night. My mind felt much as it had felt on the
evening when I had gone to the play. I went out to see what the air and
the sunshine and the cool green of trees and grass would do for me. The
nearest place in which I could find what I wanted was the Regent's Park.
I went into one of the quiet walks in the middle of the park, where the
horses and carriages are not allowed to go, and where old people can sun
themselves, and children play, without danger.

"I sat me down to rest on a bench. Among the children near me was a
beautiful little boy, playing with a brand-new toy--a horse and wagon.
While I was watching him busily plucking up the blades of grass and
loading his wagon with them, I felt for the first time--what I have
often and often felt since--a creeping chill come slowly over my flesh,
and then a suspicion of something hidden near me, which would steal out
and show itself if I looked that way.

"There was a big tree hard by. I looked toward the tree, and waited to
see the something hidden appear from behind it.

"The Thing stole out, dark and shadowy in the pleasant sunlight. At
first I saw only the dim figure of a woman. After a little it began to
get plainer, brightening from within outward--brightening, brightening,
brightening, till it set before me the vision of MY OWN SELF, repeated
as if I was standing before a glass--the double of myself, looking at me
with my own eyes. I saw it move over the grass. I saw it stop behind
the beautiful little boy. I saw it stand and listen, as I had stood and
listened at the dawn of morning, for the chiming of the bell before the
clock struck the hour. When it heard the stroke it pointed down to the
boy with my own hand; and it said to me, with my own voice, 'Kill him.'

"A time passed. I don't know whether it was a minute or an hour. The
heavens and the earth disappeared from before me. I saw nothing but the
double of myself, with the pointing hand. I felt nothing but the longing
to kill the boy.

"Then, as it seemed, the heavens and the earth rushed back upon me. I
saw the people near staring in surprise at me, and wondering if I was in
my right mind.

"I got, by main force, to my feet; I looked, by main force, away from
the beautiful boy; I escaped, by m