The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Cost of Kindness, by Jerome K. Jerome

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Title: The Cost of Kindness
From a volume entitled "Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow"

Author: Jerome K. Jerome

Release Date: July 26, 2008 [EBook #866]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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THE COST OF KINDNESS

By Jerome K. Jerome

"Kindness," argued little Mrs. Pennycoop, "costs nothing."

"And, speaking generally, my dear, is valued precisely at cost
price," retorted Mr. Pennycoop, who, as an auctioneer of twenty years'
experience, had enjoyed much opportunity of testing the attitude of the
public towards sentiment.

"I don't care what you say, George," persisted his wife; "he may be
a disagreeable, cantankerous old brute--I don't say he isn't. All the
same, the man is going away, and we may never see him again."

"If I thought there was any fear of our doing so," observed Mr.
Pennycoop, "I'd turn my back on the Church of England to-morrow and
become a Methodist."

"Don't talk like that, George," his wife admonished him, reprovingly;
"the Lord might be listening to you."

"If the Lord had to listen to old Cracklethorpe He'd sympathize with
me," was the opinion of Mr. Pennycoop.

"The Lord sends us our trials, and they are meant for our good,"
explained his wife. "They are meant to teach us patience."

"You are not churchwarden," retorted her husband; "you can get away from
him. You hear him when he is in the pulpit, where, to a certain extent,
he is bound to keep his temper."

"You forget the rummage sale, George," Mrs. Pennycoop reminded him; "to
say nothing of the church decorations."

"The rummage sale," Mr. Pennycoop pointed out to her, "occurs only once
a year, and at that time your own temper, I have noticed--"

"I always try to remember I am a Christian," interrupted little Mrs.
Pennycoop. "I do not pretend to be a saint, but whatever I say I am
always sorry for it afterwards--you know I am, George."

"It's what I am saying," explained her husband. "A vicar who has
contrived in three years to make every member of his c