od-by. (Starts to go.)

HOST (bowing). When will the blessed day come when I can treat you
and your damned likes--?

[The COMMISSAIRE meets GRAIN in the doorway. GRAIN is in
absolute rags and gives a start when he sees the COMMISSAIRE. The
latter looks at him first, smiles, and then turns courteously to
HOST.]

COMMISSAIRE. One of your artists already? [Exit.]

GRAIN (whining pathetically). Good evening.

HOST (after looking at him for a long time). If you're one of my
troupe, I won't grudge you my recognition ... of your art, because I
don't recognize you.

GRAIN. What do you mean?

HOST. No jests now; take off your wig; I'd rather like to know who you
are. (He pulls at his hair.)

GRAIN. Oh, dear!

HOST. But 'tis genuine! Heavens--who are you? You appear to be a real
ragamuffin.

GRAIN. I am!

HOST. What do you want of me?

GRAIN. Have I the honor of speaking to Citizen Prosper?--the host of
The Green Cockatoo?

HOST. I am he.

GRAIN. My name is Grain, sometimes Carniche--very often Shrieking
Pumice-stone; but I was sent to prison, Citizen Prosper, under the name
of Grain, and that is the real point.

HOST. Ah, I understand. You want to play in my establishment and start
off with playing me. Good. Go on.

GRAIN. Citizen Prosper, don't look upon me as a swindler. I am a man of
honor. If I tell you that I was imprisoned, 'tis the complete truth.

[HOST looks at him suspiciously.]

GRAIN (pulling a paper out of his pocket). Here, Citizen Prosper, you
can see from this that I was let out yesterday afternoon at four
o'clock.

HOST. After two years' imprisonment! Zounds, 'tis genuine!

GRAIN. Were you all the time doubting it, then. Citizen Prosper?

HOST. What did you do to get two years?

GRAIN. I would have been hanged; but I was lucky enough to be still
half a child when I killed my poor aunt.

HOST. Nay, fellow, how can a man kill his own aunt?

GRAIN. Citizen Prosper, I would never have done it if my aunt had not
deceived me with my best friend.

HOST. Your aunt?

GRAIN. That's it--she was dearer to me than aunts usually are to their
nephews. The family relations were peculiar--it made me embittered,
most embittered. May I tell you about it?

HOST. Go on telling--perhaps you and I will be able to do business
together.

GRAIN. My sister was but half a child when she ran away from
home--and whom do you think she went with?

H