ccursed
English. It seemed to annoy him particularly that I should have joined
their party. "If you knew what you were doing, thirty thousand millions
of pigs! you would keep yourself to yourself! The horses can't drag the
cart; the roads are all ruts and swamps. No longer ago than last night
the Colonel and I had to march half the way--thunder of God!--half the
way to the knees in mud--and I with this infernal cold--and the danger
of detection! Happily we met no one: a desert--a real desert--like the
whole abominable country! Nothing to eat--no, sir, there is nothing to
eat but raw cow and greens boiled in water--nor to drink but
Worcestershire sauce! Now I, with my catarrh, I have no appetite; is it
not so? Well, if I were in France, I should have a good soup with a
crust in it, an omelette, a fowl in rice, a partridge in
cabbages--things to tempt me, thunder of God! But here--day of
God!--what a country! And cold, too! They talk about Russia--this is all
the cold I want! And the people--look at them! What a race! Never any
handsome men; never any fine officers!"--and he looked down complacently
for a moment at his waist--"And the women--what faggots! No, that is one
point clear, I cannot stomach the English!"

There was something in this man so antipathetic to me, as sent the
mustard into my nose. I can never bear your bucks and dandies, even when
they are decent-looking and well dressed; and the Major--for that was
his rank--was the image of a flunkey in good luck. Even to be in
agreement with him, or to seem to be so, was more than I could make out
to endure.

"You could scarce be expected to stomach them," said I civilly, "after
having just digested your parole."

He whipped round on his heel and turned on me a countenance which I dare
say he imagined to be awful; but another fit of sneezing cut him off ere
he could come the length of speech.

"I have not tried the dish myself," I took the opportunity to add. "It
is said to be unpalatable. Did monsieur find it so?"

With surprising vivacity the Colonel woke from his lethargy. He was
between us ere another word could pass.

"Shame, gentlemen!" he said. "Is this a time for Frenchmen and
fellow-soldiers to fall out? We are in the midst of our enemies; a
quarrel, a loud word, may suffice to plunge us back into irretrievable
distress. _Monsieur le Commandant_, you have been gravely offended. I
make it my request, I make it my prayer--if need be, I give you my
o