Disciplines, all the Mortification, almost to
the destruction of Life it self, to conquer the unruly Flame; but still
it burnt and rag'd but the more; so, at last, she was forc'd to permit
that to conquer her, she could not conquer, and submitted to her Fate,
as a thing destin'd her by Heaven it self; and after all this
opposition, she fancy'd it was resisting even Divine Providence, to
struggle any longer with her Heart; and this being her real Belief, she
the more patiently gave way to all the Thoughts that pleas'd her.

As soon as she was laid, without discoursing (as she us'd to do) to
_Katteriena_, after they were in Bed, she pretended to be sleepy, and
turning from her, setled her self to profound Thinking, and was resolv'd
to conclude the Matter, between her Heart, and her Vow of Devotion, that
Night, and she, having no more to determine, might end the Affair
accordingly, the first opportunity she should have to speak to
_Henault_, which was, to fly, and marry him; or, to remain for ever
fix'd to her Vow of Chastity. This was the Debate; she brings Reason on
both sides: Against the first, she sets the Shame of a Violated Vow, and
considers, where she shall shew her Face after such an Action; to the
Vow, she argues, that she was born in Sin, and could not live without
it; that she was Human, and no Angel, and that, possibly, that Sin might
be as soon forgiven, as another; that since all her devout Endeavours
could not defend her from the Cause, Heaven ought to execute the Effect;
that as to shewing her Face, so she saw that of _Henault_ always turned
(Charming as it was) towards her with love; what had she to do with the
World, or car'd to behold any other?

Some times, she thought, it would be more Brave and Pious to dye, than
to break her Vow; but she soon answer'd that, as false Arguing, for
Self-Murder was the worst of Sins, and in the Deadly Number. She could,
after such an Action, live to repent, and, of two Evils, she ought to
chuse the least; she dreads to think, since she had so great a
Reputation for Virtue and Piety, both in the _Monastery_, and in the
World, what they both would say, when she should commit an Action so
contrary to both these, she posest; but, after a whole Night's Debate,
Love was strongest, and gain'd the Victory. She never went about to
think, how she should escape, because she knew it would be easy, the
keeping of the Key of the _Monastery_, [was] often intrusted in her
keeping, an