of honor, as the picture of her father standing holding her
bouquet and stooping over to adjust the fall of her dress, would be
difficult to witness with gravity.

At an average New York wedding, there are four or six bridesmaids--half of
the "maids" may be "matrons," if most of the bride's "group" of friends
have married before her. It is, however, not suitable to have young
married women as bridesmaids, and then have an unmarried girl as maid of
honor.

=BEST MAN AND USHERS=

The bridegroom always has a best man--his brother if he has one, or his
best friend. The number of his ushers is in proportion to the size of the
church and the number of guests invited. At a house wedding, ushers are
often merely "honorary" and he may have many or none--according to the
number of his friends.

As ushers and bridesmaids are chosen only from close friends of the bride
and groom, it is scarcely necessary to suggest how to word the asking!
Usually they are told that they are expected to serve at the time the
engagement is announced, or at any time as they happen to meet. If school
or college friends who live at a distance are among the number, letters
are necessary. Such as:

"Mary and I are to be married on the tenth of November, and, of course,
you are to be an usher." Usually he adds: "My dinner is to be on the
seventh at eight o'clock at ----," naming the club or restaurant.

It is unheard of for a man to refuse--unless a bridegroom, for snobbish
reasons, asks some one who is not really a friend at all.

=BRIDE'S USHER AND GROOM'S BRIDESMAID=

A brother of the bride, or if she has no brother, then her "favorite
cousin" is always asked by the groom to be usher out of compliment to her.

The bride returns the compliment by asking the sister of the groom who is
nearest her own age, to be bridesmaid, or if he has no sister, she asks a
cousin or even occasionally shows her courtesy by asking the groom to name
a particular friend of his. The bride in asking her does not say:

"Will you be one of my bridesmaids because Jim wants me to ask you." If
the bridesmaid is not a particular friend of the bride, she knows
perfectly that it is on Jim's account that she has been asked. It is the
same with the bride's usher. The groom merely asks him as he asks all of
the others.

When a foreigner marries an American girl, his own friends being too
distant to serve, the ushers are chosen from among the friends of the
bride.

=