177.]]

CHAPTER XIV

FORMAL DINNERS

=NOT FOR THE NOVICE TO ATTEMPT=

If the great world of society were a university which issued degrees to
those whom it trains to its usages, the _magna cum laude_ honors would be
awarded without question, not to the hostess who may have given the most
marvelous ball of the decade, but to her who knows best every component
detail of preparation and service, no less than every inexorable rule of
etiquette, in formal dinner-giving.

To give a perfect dinner of ceremony is the supreme accomplishment of a
hostess! It means not alone perfection of furnishing, of service, of
culinary skill, but also of personal charm, of tact. The only other
occasion when a hostess must have equal--and possibly even greater
ability--is the large and somewhat formal week-end party, which includes a
dinner or two as by no means its least formidable features.

There are so many aspects to be considered in dinner giving that it is
difficult to know whether to begin up-stairs or down, or with furnishing,
or service, or people, or manners! One thing is certain, no novice should
ever begin her social career by attempting a formal dinner, any more than
a pupil swimmer, upon being able to take three strokes alone, should
attempt to swim three miles out to sea. The former will as surely drown as
the latter.

=HOW A DINNER IS GIVEN IN A GREAT HOUSE=

When Mrs. Worldly gives a dinner, it means no effort on her part
whatsoever beyond deciding upon the date and the principal guests who are
to form the nucleus; every further detail is left to her
subordinates--even to the completion of her list of guests. For instance,
she decides that she will have an "older" dinner, and finding that the
tenth is available for herself, she tells her secretary to send out
invitations for that date. She does not have especial cards engraved but
uses the dinner blank described in the chapter on Invitations. She then
looks through her "dinner list" and orders her secretary to invite the
Oldworlds, the Eminents, the Learneds, the Wellborns, the Highbrows, and
the Onceweres. She also picks out three or four additional names to be
substituted for those who regret. Then turning to the "younger married"
list she searches for a few suitable but "amusing" or good-looking ones to
give life to her dinner which might otherwise be heavy. But her favorites
do not seem appropriate. It will not do to ask the Bobo Gildings, not
because