ow a-sitting on this piece o' rottenness, do
give warning doo--warning to all and sundry, to each and every--that if
ever a one o' you says the like again--ah, or whispers same, in my
hearing or out, that man's liver is going to be took out and throwed on
the nearest dung-hill where same belongs. Finally and lastly, if
there's ever a one o' you as feels inclined to argufy the point let him
now speak or for ever hold his peace and be damned! Is there now?"

As no one breathed a word, the Sergeant sighed, rose from the moaning
Joseph and, crossing the room, picked up his battered tankard and shook
gloomy head over it; then, handing it to the round-eyed landlord,
sighed again:

"That'll be the second tankard I shall ha' paid for in the last six
weeks, Jem," said he, "I do seem oncommon misfort'nate with
pewter-ware!"

So saying, he nodded and turning his back on the silent and chastened
company, marched blithely homeward.

Now presently as he went, he was surprised to see the Major, who stood
beside the way, his hands crossed upon his crab-tree staff, his laced
hat a little askew, his grey eyes staring very hard at a weatherbeaten
stile. As the Sergeant drew near, he started, and lifting his gaze,
nodded.

"Ha, Zeb," said he, thoughtfully, "I'm faced with a problem of no small
magnitude, Zeb--a question of no little difficulty!" and he became lost
in contemplation of a lark carolling high overhead.

"Nothing serious I hope, your honour?"

"Serious, why--no Zeb, no. And yet 'tis a matter demanding a nice
judgment, a--er--a reasoned deliberation, as 'twere."

"Certainly, sir!"

"Yet for the life of me I can come to no decision for one of 'em is
much like t'other after all save for colour, d'ye see, Zeb, and serve
the same purpose. Yet to-morrow--to-morrow I would look my very best
and--er--youngest as 'twere, Zeb."

"Meaning which and who, sir--how and where, your honour?"

"Come and see, Zeb."

Herewith the Major turned and strode away, the Sergeant marching
exactly two paces in his rear and without another word until, reaching
the study in due course, the Major carefully closed the door and
pointed with his crab-tree staff to some half-dozen of his new suits of
clothes disposed advantageously on table and chairs.

"There they are, Zeb," said he, "though egad, now I look at 'em again
they don't seem exactly right, somehow----"

"Why, sir, you've only got 'em mixed up a bit--this here dove-coloured
co