the earth, and is conveniently safe, inasmuch
as it is more or less true of every person, place, and thing in this sad
world of loose screws.

CHAPTER TWENTY.

A LITTLE MORE HATCHING.

One night Edward Hooper, having consulted his watch frequently, and
compared it with the clock of slow notoriety in the warehouse in Tooley
Street, until his patience was almost gone, at last received the warning
hiss, and had his books shut and put away before the minute-gun began to
boom. He was out at the door and half-way up the lane, with his hat a
good deal on one side of his head and very much over one eye, before the
last shot was fired.

"It's a jolly time of day this--the jolliest hour of the twenty-four,"
muttered Ned to himself, with a smile.

His speech was thick, and his smile was rather idiotic, by reason of his
having drunk more than his usual allowance at dinner that day.

By way of mending matters, Ned resolved to renew his potations
immediately, and announced his intentions to himself in the following
words:

"Com--mi--boy--y-you'll go--ave an--urrer por-o-porer--thash yer sort!"

At a certain point in the drunkard's downward career he ceases to have
any control over himself, and increases his speed from the usual
staggering jog-trot to a brisk zigzag gallop that generally terminates
abruptly in the grave.

Ned Hooper, a kind-hearted fellow enough, and thinking himself not so
bad as he seemed because of that same kind-heartedness, had reached the
galloping point, and was travelling unusually fast along the high road
to ruin.

Being of a generous nature, Ned was in the habit of extending his
patronage to various beer-shops, among others to that one near London
Bridge which has been described as the property of Gorman. Business,
pleasure, or fancy led him to that shop on the evening in question. He
was standing at the counter steadying himself with his left hand and
holding a pewter-pot in his right, when the door of the inner room
opened, and Gorman crossed the floor. He was in a thoughtful mood, and
was about to pass out without raising his eyes, when Ned arrested him
with:

"Good ev-n'in', Misher Gorm'n."

Gorman glanced back, and then turned away as if in contempt, but,
suddenly checking himself, returned, and going up to Hooper with as
affable a smile as his countenance would admit of, said that he was
delighted to shake hands with him, and that he was the very man he
wanted to see, as he wis