dear Rector,

I expect you gathered from our talk the day before yesterday that I
was feeling dissatisfied with myself, and you must know that the
problem of occupying my time wisely before I am ordained has lately
been on my mind. I don't feel that I could honestly take up a
profession to which I had no intention of sticking, and though
Father Rowley recommended me to stay at home and work with the
village people I don't feel capable of doing that yet. If it was a
question of helping you by taking off your shoulders work that I
could do it would be another matter. But you've often said to me
that you had more time on your hands than you cared for since you
gave up coaching me for an Oxford scholarship, and so I don't think
I'm wrong in supposing that you would find it hard to discover for
me any parochial routine work. I'm not old enough yet to fish for
souls, and I have no confidence in my ability to hook them.
Besides, I think it would bore you if I started "missionizing" in
Wych-on-the-Wold.

I've settled therefore to try to get into the Order of St. George.
I don't think you know Father Burrowes personally, but I've always
heard that he does a splendid work among soldiers, and I'm hoping
that he will accept me as a novice.

Latterly, in fact since I left Chatsea, I've been feeling the need
of a regular existence, and, though I cannot pretend that I have a
vocation for the monastic life in the highest sense, I do feel that
I have a vocation for the Order of St. George. You will wonder why
I have not mentioned this to you, but the fact is--and I hope
you'll appreciate my frankness--I did not think of the O.S.G. till
this morning. Of course they may refuse to have me. But I shall
present myself without a preliminary letter, and I hope to persuade
Father Burrowes to have me on probation. If he once does that, I'm
sure that I shall satisfy him. This sounds like the letter of a
conceited clerk. It must be the fault of this horrible inn pen,
which is like writing with a tooth-pick dipped in a puddle! I
thought it was best not to stay at the Rectory, with Esther on the
verge of her profession. It wouldn't be fair to her at a time like
this to make my immediate future a matter of prime importance. So
do forgive my going off in this fashion. I s