self, I could not
coquet with a man without loving him a little; and I perceived that I
should not be able to stop at the line of what are termed _innocent
freedoms_, did I suffer any. My reserve was then the consequence of
delicacy. Freedom of conduct has emancipated many women's minds; but my
conduct has most rigidly been governed by my principles, till the
improvement of my understanding has enabled me to discern the fallacy of
prejudices at war with nature and reason.

"Shortly after the change I have mentioned in my husband's conduct, my
uncle was compelled by his declining health, to seek the succour of a
milder climate, and embark for Lisbon. He left his will in the hands of a
friend, an eminent solicitor; he had previously questioned me relative to
my situation and state of mind, and declared very freely, that he could
place no reliance on the stability of my husband's professions. He had
been deceived in the unfolding of his character; he now thought it fixed
in a train of actions that would inevitably lead to ruin and disgrace.

"The evening before his departure, which we spent alone together, he
folded me to his heart, uttering the endearing appellation of
'child.'--My more than father! why was I not permitted to perform the
last duties of one, and smooth the pillow of death? He seemed by his
manner to be convinced that he should never see me more; yet requested
me, most earnestly, to come to him, should I be obliged to leave my
husband. He had before expressed his sorrow at hearing of my pregnancy,
having determined to prevail on me to accompany him, till I informed him
of that circumstance. He expressed himself unfeignedly sorry that any new
tie should bind me to a man whom he thought so incapable of estimating my
value; such was the kind language of affection.

"I must repeat his own words; they made an indelible impression on my
mind:

"'The marriage state is certainly that in which women, generally
speaking, can be most useful; but I am far from thinking that a woman,
once married, ought to consider the engagement as indissoluble
(especially if there be no children to reward her for sacrificing her
feelings) in case her husband merits neither her love, nor esteem. Esteem
will often supply the place of love; and prevent a woman from being
wretched, though it may not make her happy. The magnitude of a sacrifice
ought always to bear some proportion to the utility in view; and for a
woman to live with a