. I. M._ Aren't there? Oh, indeed. Well, then perhaps you'll tell
me what Lord CROMER is?

_Second W. I. M._ He's our Minister. That's what they call them.

_Inquirer._ Was it him the KHEDIVE dismissed, then?

_Second W. I. M._ (_laughing heartily_). No, no; we haven't got to that
yet. He dismissed his own Johnnies, of course; Egyptians. Lord CROMER'S
the English Minister.

_Average Man._ No, he isn't. He's the English Agent.

_Second W. I. M._ Oh, well, it's the same thing.

_First W. I. M._ (_taking his revenge_). No, it isn't at all the same
thing; it's a very different thing. A Minister's only just short of an
Ambassador, and an Agent (_pauses_)--well, he's something quite
different. I don't think he gets as much pay for one thing, and of course
he can't live in the Embassy.

_Inquirer._ But who does live in the Embassy, then?

_First W. I. M._ It's unoccupied, of course.

_Average Man._ No, it isn't. There isn't any Embassy at all. [_A pause._

_Inquirer_ (_returning to the charge_). But look here, who _is_ Lord
CROMER? I never heard of him before. I thought we'd got BARING or
ROTHSCHILD, or somebody representing us in Egypt.

_First W. I. M._ (_with smiling superiority_). My dear chap, you're
thinking of Sir EVELYN BARING. He left Egypt long ago.

_Inquirer._ Why did he leave?

_First W. I. M._ Old GLADSTONE gave him the sack.

_Second W. I. M._ No, he didn't. GLADSTONE wasn't in power when BARING
left Egypt. It was SALISBURY who dismissed him.

_First W. I. M._ I bet you a sov. it was GLADSTONE.

_Second W. I. M._ And I bet you a sov. it was SALISBURY.

_Average Man._ You'll both lose. It was neither.

_First W. I. M._, _Second W. I. M._ (_together_). Bosh! That's
impossible.

_Average Man._ It's a fact.

_First W. I. M._ (_triumphant_). Well, how do you account for his not
being there now?

_Average Man._ He is there.

_First W. I. M._ He isn't. Lord CROMER'S there. Here it is. (_Producing
Times._) "Lord CROMER has protested in person." So come!

_Average Man._ All right. I know all that. Only, unfortunately, they're
one and the same person.

_First W. I. M._, _Second W. I. M._ (_together_). Oh, I daresay; and you
think we're going to swallow that. You tell that to your Grandmother!
[_Both remain absolutely unconvinced._

_Inquirer._ But what's this about the French? What have they got to do
with it?

_Second W. I. M._ Oh, they've got their fingers in every pie; always
making mi