n San
Francisco.'

"Say! I've worked fur some nutty owners, but this yap's the limit.

"'Well, Alci, here comes Alcy now,' I says, as the boy comes up with
the dog, 'n' my new boss stretches his number three neck out of his
number nine collar 'n' blinks at the hoss.

"Alcibides comes back to the stall with me 'n' from then on he sticks
to me tighter 'n a woodtick. He's out to the track every mawnin' by
nine 'n' he don't leave till after the races. He asks me eighty-seven
squeaky questions a minute all the time we're together. I calls him
'n' his hoss both Alcy fur a while, but I changes him to Elsy--that was
less confusin' 'n' it suits him better.

"The next week I starts Alcyfras among a bunch of crabs in a seven
furlong sellin' race, 'n' the judges hold up his entrance till I can
identify him. I hands them his papers 'n' they looks up the
description of Friendless in the stud-book, where it shows he's got one
white foot. Then they wire to the breeder of Alcyfras 'n' to the
tracks in California where the dog has started. The answers come back
all proper 'n' to cinch it I produce Elsy as owner. They look Elsy
over while he tells 'em he's bought the hoss.

"'Gentlemen,' says Colonel King to the other judges, 'the mere sight of
Mr. Tuttle has inspired me with full confidence in his entry and
himself.' He bows to Elsy 'n' Elsy bows to him. The rest of the
judges turn 'round 'n' look at somethin' over across the center-field.

"I tells Elsy his hoss is all to the merry, but we don't want him to
win till the odds get right. He's standin' beside me at the race, 'n'
Alcyfras runs next to last.

"'Of course, I realize you are more familiar with horse racing than
myself,' he says; 'but I think you should have allowed him to do a
little better. What method did you employ to make him remain so far in
the rear?'

"'I tells the jock to pull him,' I says. The boy was usin' the bat
half the trip, but Elsy never tumbles.

"'What do you say to a jockey when you desire him to lose?' Elsy asks
me.

"'I just say--"Grab this one,"' I says.

"'What do you say when you require him to win?' he squeaks.

"'I don't say nothin'. I hands him a ticket on the hoss 'n' the jock
wins if he has to get down 'n' carry the dog home,' I says.

"Not long after this, Friendless gets in from Illinois. I look him
over in the car 'n' I see he's not ready. He's not near ready.

"'What kind of shoemakers give this hoss his prep.?