buzz-wagon.

"'I can't keep my engagement with you this evening,' she says. 'My
brother's in town and I'm going to be with him.'

"'Bring your brother along,' says the guy, 'n' I know by that he's got
it bad.

"'I can't very well,' she says. 'We have some family matters to talk
over. I'll see you some other evening.'

"The very next night a bunch of scenery tumbles over. The race is
goin' on, 'n' Edwin Booth is layin' down to it right. A piece of
scenery either falls under his feet or else jims the machine, I never
knows which, anyhow, all of a sudden the hoss gets real footin'.
Bingo! We're on our way like we're shot out of a gun. We go through
all the scenery on that side 'n' Edwin Booth does a flop when he hits
the brick wall at the end of the stage. The ole hound ain't even
scratched. I ain't hurt neither.

"The curtain rings down 'n' De Mott comes a-lopin' to where I'm gettin'
a painted grand-stand off of Edwin Booth's front legs.

"'In heaven's name what were you trying to do?' he says.

"'I was just practisin' one of them quick exits you're always talkin'
about,' I says.

"'All right,' he says. 'Keep on practising till you come to that door!
Follow on down the street till you reach the river and then jump in!'

"'I guess I'm fired--is that it?' I says.

"'You're a good guesser,' says De Mott.

"The chicken has come over by this time.

"'Are you hurt, Blister?' she says.

"'Not a bit, girlie,' I says, 'n' starts to go change my clothes.

"'Wait till I give you an order on the box-office for your money,' says
De Mott.

"'Well, get busy,' I says to him. 'I've stood it around where you are
about as long as is healthy.'

"'What's that?' says the chicken to De Mott. 'You don't mean to tell
me you fired him!'

"'I don't mean to tell you _anything_ that's none of your business,'
says De Mott. 'Go dress for the next act!'

"'Not on your life!' she says. 'You can't fire him; it wasn't _his_
fault! I'll write Banks a _lot_ I know about you!'

"De Mott pulls out his watch.

"'I'll give you just _one minute_ to start for your dressing-room,' he
says to her.

"The chicken knocks the watch out of his hand.

"'_That_ for your old turnip and you, too!' she says.

"'You're fired!' yells De Mott.

"'Oh, no, I ain't!' says the chicken. 'That's my way of breaking a
contract and a watch at the same time. You needn't write an order for
me,' she says. 'I'm overdrawn a week now.'

"Whe