The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Fun of Getting Thin, by Samuel G. Blythe

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Title: The Fun of Getting Thin

Author: Samuel G. Blythe

Release Date: January 20, 2005 [eBook #14743]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)

***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FUN OF GETTING THIN***

E-text prepared by Al Haines

THE FUN OF GETTING THIN

How To Be Happy and Reduce the Waist Line

by

SAMUEL G. BLYTHE

Author of "Cutting It Out"

Chicago
Forbes & Company

1912

CONTENTS

CHAPTER

I. Fat

II. The So-Called Cures

III. Facing the Tissue

THE FUN OF GETTING THIN

CHAPTER I

FAT

A fat man is a joke; and a fat woman is two jokes--one on herself and
the other on her husband. Half the comedy in the world is predicated
on the paunch. At that, the human race is divided into but two
classes--fat people who are trying to get thin and thin people who are
trying to get fat.

Fat, the doctors say, is fatal. I move to amend by striking out the
last two letters of the indictment. Fat is fat. It isn't any more
fatal to be reasonably fat than to be reasonably thin, but it's a
darned sight more uncomfortable. So far as being unreasonably thin or
unreasonably fat is concerned, I suppose the thin person has the long
end of it. I never was thin, so I don't know. However, I have been
fat--notice that "have been"? And if there is any phase of human
enjoyment, any part of life, any occupation, avocation, divertisement,
pleasure or pain where the fat man has the better of it in any regard,
I failed to discover it in the twenty years during which I looked like
the rear end of a hack and had all the bodily characteristics of a bale
of hay.

When you come to examine into the actuating motives for any line of
human endeavor you will find that vanity figures about ninety per cent,
directly or indirectly, in the assay. The personal equation is the
ruling equation. Women want to be thinner because they will look
better--and so do men. Likewise, women want to be plumper because they
will look better--and so do men. This holds up to forty years. After
that it doesn't mak