ry fertile one indeed, sir.

_Sir Per_. The reverse, the reverse: weel, sir, seeing myself in this
unprofitable situation, I reflected deeply; I cast about my thoughts
morning, noon, and night, and markt every man and every mode of
prosperity,--at last I concluded that a matrimonial adventure, prudently
conducted, would be the readiest gait I could gang for the bettering of my
condition, and accordingly I set about it: now, sir, in this pursuit,
beauty! beauty!--ah! beauty often struck mine een, and played about my
heart! and fluttered, and beat, and knocked, and knocked, but the devil an
entrance I ever let it get;--for I observed, sir, that beauty--is
generally--a proud, vain, saucy, expensive, impertinent sort of a
commodity.

_Eger_. Very justly observed, sir.

_Sir Per_. And therefore, sir, I left it to prodigals and coxcombs, that
could afford to pay for it; and in its stead, sir, mark! I looked out for
an ancient, weel-jointured, superannuated dowager:--a consumptive,
toothless, ptisicky, wealthy widow,--or a shrivelled, cadaverous piece of
deformity in the shape of an izzard, or a appersi-and,--or, in short, ainy
thing, ainy thing that had the siller, the siller,--for that, sir, was the
north star of my affections. Do you take me, sir; was nai that right?

_Eger_. O! doubtless--doubtless, sir.

_Sir Per_. Now, sir, where do you think I ganged to look for this woman
with the siller?--nai till court, nai till playhouses or assemblies--nai,
sir. I ganged till the kirk, till the anabaptist, independent, bradlonian,
and muggletonian meetings; till the morning and evening service of
churches and chapels of ease, and till the midnight, melting, conciliating
love-feasts of the methodists; and there, sir, at last, I fell upon an
old, slighted, antiquated, musty maiden, that looked--ha, ha, ha! she
looked just like a skeleton in a surgeon's glass case. Now, sir, this
miserable object was religiously angry with herself and aw the world; had
nai comfort but in metaphysical visions, and supernatural deliriums; ha,
ha, ha! Sir, she was as mad--as mad as a Bedlamite.

_Eger_. Not improbable, sir, there are numbers of poor creatures in the
same condition.

_Sir Per_. O! numbers--numbers. Now, sir, this cracked creature used to
pray, and sing, and sigh, and groan, and weep, and wail, and gnash her
teeth constantly, morning and evening, at the Tabernacle in Moorfields:
and as soon as I found she had the siller, aha! guid t