nge gentlemen!' I cried. 'Why, ain't I engaged to her?'

"'I don't know you,' says she.

"'Wasn't I introduced to you?' says I.

"'No,' says she; 'I don't know you.'

[Illustration: "BUT I SAVED HER LIFE."]

"'But I'm engaged to Minnie,' says I.

"'I don't recognize you,' says she. 'The family know nothing about
you; and my niece is a silly girl, who is going back to her father,
who will probably send her to school.'

"'But I saved her life,' says I.

"'That's very possible,' says she; 'many persons have done so; yet
that gives you no right to annoy her; and you shall _not_ annoy her.
Your engagement is an absurdity. The child herself is an absurdity.
_You_ are an absurdity. Was it not you who was creating such a
frightful disturbance here yesterday? Let me inform you, Sir, that if
you repeat it, you will be handed over to the police. The police would
certainly have been called yesterday had we not wished to avoid
hurting your feelings. We now find that you have no feelings to hurt.'

"'Very well, ma'am,' says I; 'these are your views; but as you are not
Minnie, I don't accept them. I won't retire from the field till I hear
a command to that effect from Minnie herself. I allow no relatives to
stand between me and my love. Show me Minnie, and let me hear what she
has to say. That's all I ask, and that's fair and square.'

"'You shall not see her at all,' says the old lady, quite mild; 'not
at all. You must not come again, for you will not be admitted. Police
will be here to put you out if you attempt to force an entrance as you
did before.'

"'Force an entrance!' I cried.

"'Yes,' she said, 'force an entrance. You did so, and you filled the
whole house with your shouts. Is that to be borne? Not by us, Sir. And
now go, and don't disturb us any more.'

"Well, I'll be darned if I ever felt so cut up in my life. The old
lady was perfectly calm and cool; wasn't a bit scared--though there
was no reason why she should be. She just gave it to me that way. But
when she accused me of forcing an entrance and kicking up a row, I was
struck all of a heap and couldn't say a word. _Me_ force an entrance!
_Me_ kick up a row! And in Minnie's house! Why, the old woman's mad!

"Well, the old lady shut the door in my face, and I walked off; and
I've been ever since trying to understand it, but I'll be darned if I
can make head or tail of it. The only thing I see is that they're all
keeping Minnie locked up away from me. The