ot conceal from ourselves that it must always
originate in a want of the desire to please--a want, the evidence of
which cannot fail to wound the self-love of those who detect, and
indispose them towards those who betray it. By a disagreeable manner I
do not mean the awkwardness often arising from timidity, or the too
great familiarity originating in untutored good nature: but I refer to
a superciliousness, or coldness, that marks a sense of superiority; or
to a habit of contradiction, that renders society what it should never
be--an arena of debate.

How injudicious are those who defend their absent friends, when accused
of having disagreeable manners, by saying, as I have often heard
persons say--"I assure you that he or she can be very agreeable with
those he or she likes:" an assertion which, by implying that the person
accused did not like those who complained of the bad manner, converts
them from simple disapprovers into something approaching to enemies.

I had once occasion to notice the fine tact of a friend of mine, who,
hearing a person he greatly esteemed censured for his disagreeable
manner, answered,

"Yes, it is very true: with a thousand good qualities his
manner is very objectionable, even with those he likes best:
it is his misfortune, and he cannot help it; but those who
know him well will pardon it."

This candid admission of what could not be refuted, checked all further
censure at the moment, whereas an injudicious defence would have
lengthened it; and I heard some of the individuals then present assert,
a few days subsequently, that Lord ---- was not, after all, by any
means to be disliked: for that his manners were equally objectionable
even with his most esteemed friends, and consequently meant nothing
uncivil to strangers.

I tried this soothing system the other day in defence of ----, when a
whole circle were attacking him for his rude habit of contradicting, by
asserting, with a grave face, that he only contradicted those whose
talents he suspected, in order that he might draw them out in
discussion.

---- came in soon after, and it was positively amusing to observe how
much better people bore his contradiction. Madame ---- only smiled
when, having asserted that it was a remarkably fine day, he declared it
to be abominable. The Duc de ---- looked gracious when, having repeated
some political news, ---- said he could prove the contrary to be the
fact; and the Comtess