ility of escape--how heartily I wished myself back in the
Coffee-room at Morrisson's, with my poor friend Tom--the infernal
chaise, that I cursed a hundred times, would have been an "exchange,"
better than into the Life Guards--ay, even the outside of the coach, if
I could only reach it, would, under present circumstances, be a glorious
alternative to my existing misfortune. What were rain and storm,
thunder and lightning, compared with the chances that awaited me here?
--wet through I should inevitably be, but then I had not yet contracted
the horror of moisture my friend opposite laboured under. "Ha! what is
that? is it possible he can be asleep; is it really a snore?--Heaven
grant that little snort be not what the medical people call a
premonitory symptom--if so, he'll be in upon me now in no time. Ah,
there it is again; he must be asleep surely; now then is my time or
never." With these words, muttered to myself, and a heart throbbing
almost audibly at the risk of his awakening, I slowly let down the
window of the coach, and stretching forth my hand, turned the handle
cautiously and slowly; I next disengaged my legs, and by a long
continuous effort of creeping--which I had learned perfectly once, when
practising to go as a boa constrictor to a fancy ball--I withdrew myself
from the seat and reached the step, when I muttered something very like
a thanksgiving to Providence for my rescue. With little difficulty I now
climbed up beside the guard, whose astonishment at my appearance was
indeed considerable--that any man should prefer the out, to the inside
of a coach, in such a night, was rather remarkable; but that the person
so doing should be totally unprovided with a box-coat, or other similar
protection, argued something so strange, that I doubt not, if he were to
decide upon the applicability of the statute of lunacy to a traveller in
the mail, the palm would certainly have been awarded to me, and not to
my late companion. Well, on we rolled, and heavily as the rain poured
down, so relieved did I feel at my change of position, that I soon fell
fast asleep, and never awoke till the coach was driving up Patrick
street. Whatever solace to my feelings reaching the outside of the coach
might have been attended with at night, the pleasure I experienced on
awaking, was really not unalloyed. More dead than alive, I sat a mass
of wet clothes, like nothing under heaven except it be that morsel of
black and spongy wet co