t is to say, I had already
gummed on a pair of mustachios, had corked and arched a ferocious pair of
eyebrows, which, with my rouged cheeks, gave me a look half Whiskerando,
half Grimaldi; these operations were performed, from the stress of
circumstances, sufficiently near the object of my affections, to afford
me the pleasing satisfaction of hearing from her own sweet lips, her
solicitude about me--in a word, all the dressing-rooms but two were
filled with hampers of provisions, glass, china, and crockery, and from
absolute necessity, I had no other spot where I could attire myself
unseen, except in the identical pavillion already alluded to--here,
however, I was quite secure, and had abundant time also, for I was not to
appear till scene the second, when I was to come forward in full Spanish
costume, "every inch a Hidalgo." Meantime, Fanny had been singing--

"Oh why is he far," &c. &c.

At the conclusion of the last verse, just as she repeats the words "why,
why, why," in a very distracted and melting cadence, a voice behind
startles her--she turns and beholds her guardian--so at least run the
course of events in the real drama--that it should follow thus now
however, "Dus aliter visum"--for just as she came to the very moving
apostrophe alluded to, and called out, "why comes he not?"--a gruff voice
from behind answered in a strong Cork brogue--"ah! would ye have him come
in a state of nature?" at the instant a loud whistle rang through the
house, and the pavillion scene slowly drew up, discovering me, Harry
Lorrequer, seated on a small stool before a cracked looking-glass, my
only habiliments, as I am an honest man, being a pair of long white silk
stockings, and a very richly embroidered shirt with point lace collar.
The shouts of laughter are yet in my ears, the loud roar of
inextinguishable mirth, which after the first brief pause of astonishment
gave way, shook the entire building--my recollection may well have been
confused at such a moment of unutterable shame and misery; yet, I clearly
remember seeing Fanny, the sweet Fanny herself, fall into an arm-chair
nearly suffocated with convulsions of laughter. I cannot go on; what I
did I know not. I suppose my exit was additionally ludicrous, for a new
eclat de rire followed me out. I rushed out of the theatre, and wrapping
only my cloak round me, ran without stopping to the barracks. But I must
cease; these are woes too sacred for even confessions like mine, s