k done by an active blister, if it is
upon himself. No one ever grumbles that he is not getting his money's
worth. It is the one monumental exception, where men are willing to
accept and be satisfied with a fractional part of that which they have
bought and paid for.

So when the layer of fresh mustard that covered the whole anterior
surface of Mr. Alspaugh's torso began to take a fair hold of its
appointed work that gentlemen's thoughts became strangely focused upon
it, and they succeeded each other as the minutes went by something in
this fashion:

FIRST TEN MINUTES.--"I 'spect that this may become rather unpleasant
and bothersome, but it will not be for long, and it'll really do me much
good."

SECOND TEN MINUTES.--"I had no idea that blisters felt just this way,
but they never really hurt anybody but women and children--MEN laugh at
them."

THIRD TEN MINUTES.--"The thing seems to be hunting 'round for my tender
spots, and pokin' pins into 'em. I begin to wish that it was all over
with."

FOURTH TEN MINUTES.--"It begins to hurt real bad. I wonder if it ain't
a'most time to take it off?"

FIFTH TEN MINUTES.--"The very devil seems to be in that thing. It burns
like as if a sheet of red-hot iron was layin' there."

SIXTH TEN MINUTES.--"I surely believe that they've made a terrible
mistake about that blister, and put in some awful thing that'll kill me
if it ain't stopped. I'll swear it's not only eat all the skin off, but
it's gone through my ribs, an' is gnawin' at my insides. Why don't the
Doctor come 'round an' see to it? Here, nurse, call the Doctor, an' have
this think taken off."

NURSE.--"No, it's all right. The Doctor left orders that it was not
to be disturbed for some time yet. I'll see to it when the proper time
comes. I'm watching the clock."

SEVENTH TEN MINUTES.--"Great Jehosefat! this's jest awful. That
blasted stuff's cooked my innards to rags, an' I kin feel my backbone
a-sizzlin'. Say, Steward, do, for the Lord's sake, come here, an' take
this thing off, while there's a little life left in me."

STEWARD.--"Can't do anything yet. You must grin and bear it a little
while longer."

EIGHTH TEN MINUTES.--"Holy smoke! I couldn't suffer more if I was in
the lake of burnin' brimstone. Every ounce of me's jest fryin'. Say,
Steward! Steward!"

STEWARD (ANGRILY).--"I have told you several times that I couldn't do
anything for you yet awhile. Now keep quiet."

"But Steward, can't you at least br