le to send a wireless
message.

"The mention of the Professor," my host continued, "reminds me that
to-day is his birthday and mine. On this day I generally make him a
ceremonial visit, and I shall be pleased to take you with me. As a
specimen you will interest him."

"Might I ask what you mean by the Outer Office?"

"The Central Office deals with utilitarian knowledge and is separated
into Controls. I, for instance, am at the head of the Heat and Light
Control. The Outer Office deals with academical knowledge, and our
friend is the Professor of Old-World History. The Inner Office decides
questions of justice. But there is no time just now to explain our
simple constitution to you. We should be starting for the Professor's
house."

"One more point," I said. "May I ask your name? I should have done so
before."

"We do not have names. Beings of the first class have a distinguishing
formula, and only use names for plants and the lower animals. The
second-class beings, the workers, may possibly use names among
themselves, but of that I have no knowledge. My own distinguishing
formula is MZ04, and as no two people have the same formula, much
confusion is prevented. By the way, your hair is untidy."

"Naturally," I said. "I was going to speak of it."

"And your hands are not clean. That is as it should be. You are now
ready to pay a ceremonial call. You perhaps don't understand. All our
houses are on the same pattern, and each is provided with a fitted room
for the purposes of the bath and the toilet. But when we pay a
ceremonial call, it is our invariable custom to do so in a soiled and
dishevelled condition. On arriving we make ourselves clean and tidy in
our host's toilet-room. This is done by way of compliment. It implies
that he possesses conveniences which we do not."

"It seems to me singularly foolish, if I may say so."

"From one point of view all compliments are foolish, but from the point
of view of longevity all compliments are wise. They have a slightly
emollient effect. We recognise this so much that we even employ at times
professional optimists."

"Won't you tell me about them?"

"It is a very simple matter. If a being of the first class gets worried
and depressed, he knows that this is lowering his vitality and lessening
the period of his life. This knowledge only tends to increase the worry.
He therefore sends at once to the Central Office for a professional
optimist. The optimist comes and ta