ollege?
Yes, Sir! Well, Sir, if you'll show me a man, Sir, that's a gradooate
from that College, that'll ever be seen with a hoe in his hand, I'll
give him leave to knock my brains out with it! Yes, Sir! An' it'll be
the best use he can put it to, Sir! He'll do less mischief that way 'n
any other! Agriculteral College! Edicated farmers! Yes, Sir, I've seen
'em! Got a grist up in Topsell. Jint-stock farm. The best talent in
Essex County's been a-carryin' on that farm, an' nigh about carried it
off, an' themselves along with it. Yes, Sir, the best talent in Essex
County, an' had the farm given 'em, an' they've sunk a thousan' dollars,
Sir, a'ready! That's what I call a Sinkin'-Fund, Sir! That's to begin
with. Jones is an edicated farmer. He made his cider last fall on
scinetific principles. Well, Sir, I could put an apple in my mouth, an'
swim down Merrimac River, an' have better cider 'n that all the way!
Edicated farmin' 's a very pootty thing, if a man can be at the expense
on't; but when it comes to gittin' a livin', farmin' 's farmin'.
Agriculteral College! Yes, Sir, farmin' 's a hard life, lookin' at the
best side. Soil's light an' runnin' to stones. But this here college
stuff's the poorest kind o' top-dressin' you can give it. Learnin's a
good thing. I've nothin' agin learnin', but 't a'n't the best use you
can make on 't to plough it in. The only way to promote the agriculteral
interests of Essex County, Sir, is to keep the farmers jest as they
are. Greek 'n' Latin a'n't state-prison offences, but they're sure death
to pork 'n' potaters. Minute you edicate the farmers they'll be as
uneasy as a toad under a harrow. What kind of a hand would Doctor Hall
or Squire Smith make, to come an' take a farm alongside o' me?"

This is the way our bold yeoman puts it. Planting himself on the
indisputable facts of his pork and potatoes, he regards one who stands
upon any other ground as a dreamer and a visionary. He forgets that pork
and potatoes are not the only facts in the world. The earth itself is a
larger fact than anything that springs from it. It is the inalienable
inheritance, the sole support of man. Mother and nurse, from the cradle
to the grave, there comes no hour when he can withdraw from her
nourishing bosom. But, by our farmers' showing, it is but a harsh and
niggardly step-mother, opening the fountains of life only under
enforcement. Is this reasonable? Is it reasonable to suppose that the
one calling which is