not be
impatient; it will all come in due time. A few dashes of preliminary
description will be necessary, by way of introduction, otherwise it
would be impossible to comprehend the full scope and purpose of my
narrative. If you be of the rougher mould, cherished reader, just cast
yourself back somewhere at your ease, take this most excellently
printed book deftly between your fingers, with a good cigar between
your teeth; throw your legs over your desk, a gunny-bag, a fence-rail,
or the mantel-piece of the bar-room, as the case may be; give me the
benefit of your friendship and confidence, and read away at your
leisure. But if you be one of those gentle beings placed upon earth to
diffuse joy and happiness over the desert of life, I pray you
consider me a serf at your imperial foot-stool; bend on me those
tender eyes; and with the mingled respect and admiration due by all
men to female loveliness, I shall proceed at once to tell you
(confidentially of course)

A MYSTERIOUS ADVENTURE

It so happened in Moscow that I fell in with a very pleasant and
sociable party of Americans, several of whom were in the railway
service, and therefore might reasonably be regarded as fast young
gentlemen, though far be it from me to imply any thing injurious to
their reputation. Beyond an excessive passion for tea, acquired by
long residence in Moscow, I do not know that a single one of them was
at all dissipated. When I first called at the rooms of these lively
countrymen, they immediately got out their tea-urns, and assured me
that it would be impossible to comprehend any thing of Russian life
till I had partaken freely of Russian tea, therefore I was obliged to
drink five or six glasses by way of a beginning. Having freely
discussed the affairs of the American nation at one room, we adjourned
to another, where we had a fresh supply of tea; and then, after
settling the rebellion to our common satisfaction, adjourned to
another, and so on throughout the best part of the day. Sometimes we
stopped in at a _traktir_ and had a portion or two, dashed with a
little Cognac, which my friends assured me would prevent it from
having any injurious effect upon the nervous system. In this way,
within a period of twelve hours, owing to the kindness and hospitality
of these agreeable Americans, who insisted upon treating me to tea, in
public and in private, at every turn of our rambles, I must have
swallowed a gallon or two of this delicious bev