pen. This parody for instance.

IF WINTER DON'T

CHAPTER I

Luke Sharper. Age, thirty-four. Married, but not much. Private
residence, Jawbones, Halfpenny Hole, Surrey. Favorite recreation,
suffering. Favorite flower----

Oh, drop it! Let us rather listen to Mr. Alfred Jingle, solicitor,
talking to his artist friend.

"Met Sharper yesterday. Remember him at the old school? Flap Sharper
we called him. Not that they really did flap. His ears, I mean. They
just crept up and bent over when he was thinking hard. People came to
see it. Came from miles around.

"Rum chap. Rum ways. Never agreed with anybody present, including
himself. Always inventing circumstantial evidence to convict himself
of crimes he had never committed. Remember the window? Half-brick came
flying through it. Old Borkins looked out. Below stood Flap Sharper
with the other half-brick in his hand. Arm drawn back. No other boy in
sight. The two halves fitted exactly. It certainly looked like it.
Poor old Flap found that it felt like it, too. But he had never
chucked that half-brick. Ogilvie did it. Remember him? The one we
called Pink-eye. Have a drink?

"I offered Sharper my sympathy. Wouldn't have it. Said 'Why?'
Maintained that we had all got to suffer in this life, and it was
better to begin early. Excellent practice. Then his ears crept up and
bent over. Got it again later in the day for drawing a caricature of
old Borkins. Never did it, of course. Couldn't draw. Can't remember
who did it. Oh, you did, did you? Like you. Have another?

"Yes, we have a certain amount of business in Dilborough. I'm
generally down there once or twice a year. I walk over to Halfpenny
Hole and lunch with Sharper. It's a seven mile walk. But lunch at the
hotel is seven-and-six. Doing uncommonly well, is Sharper. He's in
Pentlove, Postlethwaite and Sharper. You know. The only jams that
really matter. Pickles, too. Chutney. Very hot stuff. Oh, yes,
Sharper's all right.

"You ought to run down and see Halfpenny Hole. What is it the agents
say? Old-world. It's very old-world. Only three houses in it, and all
different. Whether the garden settlement will spoil it or not is
another matter. You go and paint it before it gets spoilt.

"Strictly between ourselves, I am not quite sure that Sharper and his
wife hit it off. Oh, nothing much. It's just that when he speaks to
her she never answers, and when she speaks to him he never answers. In
fact, if she spe