and cream. These all seem very
queer, but they taste very good, I asked for oatmeal porridge, but I
was told that oatmeal was used only for cataplasms. Corn is known only
as ornamental shrubbery, and tomatoes, alas! are totally unknown.

Every one I have met so far has been most kind and hospitable. We have
been invited out to dinner several times. I will describe the first
one, which was unique as a _debut_.

The distances are enormous between country houses in this land; and, as
the hour named for dinner was six o'clock, we had to begin dressing in
the afternoon at the early hour of three. At four we were packed in the
family landau, with a mountain of rugs and different things to keep our
feet warm. We jogged along the hard, slippery highroad at a monotonous
pace; and, as it is dark at four o'clock, nothing could have been more
conducive to slumber and peaceful dreams. Finally we arrived. Every one
was standing up when we entered the _salon_. There seemed to be a great
number of people. I was presented to all the ladies, and the gentlemen
were brought up one by one and named to me. They bowed, shook my hand,
and retired. I noticed that all the ladies wore long trailing
skirts--lilac or gray--and had real flowers in their hair and on their
bosoms. Dinner was announced. Then there came a pause. The host and the
hostess were looking about for some one to undertake _me_--some one who
could _tale Engelsk_ (talk English). Finally they decided upon a lank,
spectacled gentleman, who offered me his arm and took me in.

My father-in-law, who was the person highest in rank, sat on the left
of the hostess. I thought this peculiar, but such is the custom here.
From the moment we sat down until we rose from the table my
English-speaking friend never stopped talking. He told me he had
learned my language when a boy, but had forgotten a great deal; if he
had said he had forgotten it entirely he would have been nearer the
truth.

He wanted to tell me the family history of a gentleman opposite us, and
began by saying: "Do you see that gentleman? He has been washing you
all the time."

"Washing me?" I exclaimed. "What do you mean?"

"Yes, the one with the gray hairs and the bird."

I looked about for a canary perched on some one's nose.

"It is a pity," he went on to say, "that he has no shield."

"How is that?" I asked. "I thought every one had a shield of some
sort?" To make it clearer to me, he said, uln Danish we call a