to let his machine out; in America, we are
suspended between English prudence and repression on the one side
and Irish impulsiveness and recklessness on the other.

The Englishman will not budge; the Irishman cries, "Let her go."

Speaking of the future of the automobile, the Professor said,--

"Cupid will never use the automobile, the little god is too
conservative; fancy the dainty sprite with oil-can and waste
instead of bow and arrow. I can see him with smut on the end of
his mischievous nose and grease on the seat of the place where his
trousers ought to be. What a picture he would make in overalls and
jumper, leather jacket and cap; he could not use dart or arrow, at
best he could only run the machine hither and thither bunting
people into love--knocking them senseless, which is perhaps the
same thing. No, no, Cupid will never use the automobile. Imagine
Aphrodite in goggles, clothed in dust, her fair skin red from
sunburn and glistening with cold cream; horrible nightmare of a
mechanical age, avaunt!

"The chariots of High Olympus were never greased, they used no
gasoline, the clouds we see about them are condensed zephyrs and
not dust. Omniscient Jove never used a monkey-wrench, never sought
the elusive spark, never blew up a four-inch tire with a half-inch
pump. Even if the automobile could surmount the grades, it would
never be popular on Olympian heights. Mercury might use it to
visit Vulcan, but he would never go far from the shop.

"As for conditions here on earth, why should a young woman go
riding with a man whose hands, arms, and attention are entirely
taken up with wheels, levers, and oil-cups? He can't even press
her foot without running the risk of stopping the machine by
releasing some clutch; if he moves his knees a hair's-breadth in
her direction it does something to the mechanism; if he looks her
way they are into the ditch; if she attempts to kiss him his
goggles prevent; his sighs are lost in the muffler and hers in the
exhaust; nothing but dire disaster will bring an automobile
courtship to a happy termination; as long as the machine goes
love-making is quite out of the question.

"Dobbin, dear old secretive Dobbin, what difference does it make
to you whether you feel the guiding hand or not? You know when the
courtship begins, the brisk drives about town to all points of
interest, to the pond, the poorhouse, and the cemetery; you know
how the courtship progresses, the long drives in th