, when the decision
was made concerning the pictures for the Rotunda, has seriously and
vitally affected my enthusiasm in my art. When that event was announced
to me I was tempted to yield up all in despair, but I roused myself to
resist the temptation, and, determining still to fix my mind upon the
work, cast about for the means of accomplishing it in such ways as my
Heavenly Father should make plain. My telegraphic enterprise was one of
those means. Induced to prosecute it by the Secretary of the Treasury,
and encouraged by success in every part of its progress, urged forward to
complete it by the advice of the most judicious friends, I have carried
the invention on my part to perfection. That is to say, so far as the
invention itself is concerned. I _have done my part_. It is approved in
the highest quarters--in England, France, and at home--by scientific
societies and by governments, and waits only the action of the latter, or
of capitalists, to carry it into operation.

"Thus after several years' expenditure of time and money in the
expectation (of my friends, _never of my own_ except as I yielded my own
judgment to theirs) of so much at least as to leave me free to pursue my
art again, I am left, humanly speaking, farther from my object than ever.
I am reminded, too, that my prime is past; the snows are on my temples,
the half-century of years will this year be marked against me; my eyes
begin to fail, and what can I now expect to do with declining powers and
habits in my art broken up by repeated disappointments?

"That prize which, through the best part of my life, animated me to
sacrifice all that most men consider precious--prospects of wealth,
domestic enjoyments, and, not least, the enjoyment of country--was
snatched from me at the moment when it appeared to be mine beyond a
doubt.

"I do not state these things to you, my dear cousin, in the spirit of
complaint of the dealings of God's Providence, for I am perfectly
satisfied that, mysterious as it may seem to me, it has all been ordered
in its minutest particulars in infinite wisdom, so satisfied that I can
truly say I rejoice in the midst of all these trials, and in view of my
Heavenly Father's hand guiding all, I have a joy of spirit which I can
only express by the word 'singing.' It is not in man to direct his steps.
I know I am so short-sighted that I dare not trust myself in the very
next step; how then could I presume to plan for my whole life, and