ethin' for a rainy
day."

"Well, possibly. Still the bill is just as heavy. Now, Captain
Whittaker, I don't KNOW anything about this affair, and it's not my
business. But I've been about to-day, and I asked questions, and--I'm
going to tell you a fairy tale. It isn't as interesting as your sea
yarns, but--Do you like fairy stories?"

"Land, yes! Tell a few myself when it's necessary. Sometimes I almost
believe 'em. Well?"

"Of course, you must remember this IS a fairy story. Let's suppose that
once on a time--that's the way they always begin--once on a time there
was a great man, great in his own country, who was sent abroad by his
people to represent them among the rulers of the land. So, in order to
typically represent them, he dressed in glad and expensive raiment, went
about in dignity, and--"

"And whiskers. Don't leave out the whiskers!"

"All right--and whiskers. And it came to pass that the people whom he
represented wished to--to--er--bring about a certain needed improvement
in their--their beautiful and enterprising community."

"Sho! sho! how natural that sounds! You must be a mind reader."

"No. But I have to make speeches in my own community occasionally.
Well, the people asked their great man to get the money needed for this
improvement from the rulers of the land aforementioned. And he was
at first all enthusiasm and upon the--the parchment scroll where
such matters are inscribed was written the name of the beautiful and
enterprising community, and the sum of money it asked for. And the deal
was as good as made. Excuse the modern phraseology; my fairy lingo got
mixed there."

"Never mind. I can get the drift just as well--maybe better."

"And the deal was as good as made. But before the vote was taken another
chap came to the great man and said: 'Look here! I want to get an
appropriation of, say, fifty thousand dollars, to deepen and improve a
river down in my State'--a Southern State we'll say. 'I've been to the
chairman of the pork bill committee, and he says it's impossible. The
bill simply can't be loaded any further. But I find that you have an
item in there for deepening and improving a harbor back in your own
district. Why don't you cut that item out--shove it over until
next year? You can easily find a satisfactory explanation for your
constituents. AND you want to remember this: the improvement of this
river means that the--the--well, a certain sugar-growing company--can
get their stu