bony youth, with a pale
face profusely blotched. From his continually pulling something on
his chin, I am led to fancy that he believes he has what is called an
Imperial growing there. That is not the only tuft that is hunted in
the family, by the way. He can't, of course, indulge in those expensive
amusements which render his aristocratic comrade so respected: he bets
pretty freely when he is in cash, and rides when somebody mounts him
(for he can't afford more than his regulation chargers). At drinking
he is by no means inferior; and why do you think he brought his noble
friend, Lord Gules, to the Evergreens?--Why? because he intended to
ask his mother to order his father to pay his debts, which she couldn't
refuse before such an exalted presence. Young Ponto gave me all this
information with the most engaging frankness. We are old friends. I used
to tip him when he was at school.

'Gad!': says he, 'our wedgment's so DOOTHID exthpenthif. Must hunt, you
know. A man couldn't live in the wedgment if he didn't. Mess expenses
enawmuth. Must dine at mess. Must drink champagne and claret. Ours ain't
a port and sherry light-infantry mess. Uniform's awful. Fitzstultz, our
Colonel, will have 'em so. Must be a distinction you know. At his own
expense Fitzstultz altered the plumes in the men's caps (you called them
shaving-brushes, Snob, my boy: most absurd and unjust that attack of
yours, by the way); that altewation alone cotht him five hundred pound.
The year befaw latht he horthed the wegiment at an immenthe expenthe,
and we're called the Queen'th Own Pyebalds from that day. Ever theen uth
on pawade? The Empewar Nicolath burtht into tearth of envy when he thaw
uth at Windthor. And you see,' continued my young friend, 'I brought
Gules down with me, as the Governor is very sulky about shelling out,
just to talk my mother over, who can do anything with him. Gules told
her that I was Fitzstultz's favourite of the whole regiment; and, Gad!
she thinks the Horse Guards will give me my troop for nothing, and he
humbugged the Governor that I was the greatest screw in the army. Ain't
it a good dodge?'

With this Wellesley left me to go and smoke a cigar in the stables
with Lord Gules, and make merry over the cattle there, under Stripes's
superintendence. Young Ponto laughed with his friend, at the venerable
four-wheeled cruelty-chaise; but seemed amazed that the latter should
ridicule still more an ancient chariot of the build of 182