h, fail not to discover thy
suspicions--fail not to remonstrate! Had but my dear wife remonstrated
with me, when she saw me, in consequence of my winnings, indulge in
expense, which she must have known I could not honestly afford, she
would not now, within the next hour, be deprived of her husband--of the
only support of herself and her three poor children in this world,--and
deprived of him in a manner which effectually cuts off all hopes of our
ever meeting in the happiness of another. * * * *

'Yes, in less than an hour, coward as I am, I shall have deserted my
duty and my family in this world; and, wretch as I am, shall have rushed
into all the horrors of hell in another world, by drowning myself.

'By curiosity I was first led to the E O table. Ashamed to stand idle
I put upon E, it came E; upon O, it came O. Fortune favoured me (as I
foolishly called it), and I came away a winner.

Something worse than curiosity, though hardly more dangerous, carried me
to another table another night. My view in going was answered. My view
was to WIN, and again I WON in the course of the evening. Again I went,
and again I won. For some weeks this was the constant story. Oh, happy
had I lost at first! Now I went every night. Everything I ought to have
done, neglected. Up all night, I was forced to lie in bed all day. The
strength of my mind, which at THIS moment might save me, was hourly
wasting away. My wife was deceived with continual falsehoods, to which
nothing but her fondness for me blinded her. Even my winnings, with the
expense and extravagance in which I indulged myself and family, were
every day more than half exhausted. But I felt that I was always to win.
Fortune favoured me. Fortune was now my deity. * * * *

'But fortune, my new, my false deity, deserted me. My luck TURNED. I
am undone! Ruined! A beggar! My wife and children will want a morsel of
bread to eat. * * * * To destroy myself is the only way to preserve my
family from want, and to keep myself from the GALLOWS. This morning I
absolutely hesitated whether I should not procure a sum of money with
which to try my luck by FORGERY. Gamesters, think of that--FORGERY! O
my dear wife, is not anything better than seeing me conveyed to Tyburn?
Yes, it is better that before many hours you and your three helpless
daughters should be hanging in tears (I little merit) over my lifeless,
cold, and swollen body.

'Readers, farewell! From my sad and voluntary death, learn