Eliza--too certain of yourself!"

* * * * *

"Look here!" I observed, after she had argued that point at some
length, "let us come back to the original subject of discussion. Which
of us travels most to and from London? That is the reasonable way to
settle it."

"You do, on week-days. But you never go on Sundays, and the Sunday
trains are different."

"I am fully aware of the difference. Every day I am thrown into
constant contact with the time-tables. Only last night I was looking at
them at the station. As far as I know, my memory is not going."

"No more is mine."

"Really? A week ago I purchased and brought home six new collars. They
are not marked. Why? Because you forgot them! At this very moment that
I am speaking to you I am wearing an unmarked collar."

"Yes; but I only forgot them one day."

"Then why did you not mark them on the other days?"

"Because on the other days you forgot to bring home the marking-ink."

"'M, yes," I said. "In a sense that is true. I have my own business to
attend to in the city without always thinking about marking-ink. But
what has that got to do with it? And why bring it in? We are not
talking about marking-ink; we are talking about trains!"

She said that I began it, and of course I pointed out to her that I had
done nothing of the kind.

* * * * *

We argued for some little time as to which of us had begun it, and then
Eliza said, in her spiteful way--

"We are not talking about which of us began it; we are talking about
trains!"

"It's very little use talking to you about trains. I know you're wrong!
I would stake my life, cheerfully, that it is 9.53, and not 9.43. But
you'd never own you're wrong; you're too obstinate for that!"

"Of course I don't own I'm wrong, because I'm not wrong! That would be
silly!" she added, reflectively. "Even if it was 9.53, I shouldn't be
wrong. All I said was, that we should miss the 9.43. Well, if there is
no 9.43, we cannot catch it; and what you don't catch, you miss!"

"Absurd nonsense! If you do not catch scarlet fever, you do not say
that you miss it!"

She replied: "We are not talking about scarlet fever; we are talking
about trains!"

"Bah!" I exclaimed. I should have added more, but at this moment the
clock on the dining-room mantelpiece struck ten.

THE CONUNDRUMS

I had bought the little book at the station stall, and it