then, is the
time for all approaches by the husband to be of the most delicate,
considerate, and refined description possible. The quietest and softest
demeanor, with gentle and re-assuring words, are all that should be
attempted at first. The wedding day has probably been one of fatigue, and
it is foolish to go farther.

12. FOR MORE THAN ONE NIGHT it will be wise, indeed, if the wife's
confidence shall be as much wooed and won by patient, delicate, and
prolonged courting, as before the marriage engagement. How long should this
period of waiting be can only be decided by the circumstances of any case.
The bride will ultimately deny no favor which is sought with full deference
to her modesty, and in connection with which bestiality is not exhibited.
Her nature is that of delicacy; her affection is of a refined character; if
the love and conduct offered to her are a careful effort to adapt roughness
and strength to her refinement and weakness, her admiration and responsive
love will be excited to the utmost.

13. WHEN THAT MOMENT ARRIVES when the bride finds she can repose perfect
confidence in the kindness of her husband, that his love is not purely
animal, and that no violence will be attempted, the power of her affection
for him will surely assert itself; the mind will act on those organs which
nature has endowed to fulfil the law of her being, the walls of the vagina
will expand, and the glands at the entrance will be fully lubricated by a
secretion of mucous which renders congress a matter of comparative ease.

14. WHEN THIS RESPONSIVE ENLARGEMENT and lubrication are fully realized, it
is made plain why the haste and force so common to first and subsequent
coition is, as it has been justly called, nothing but "legalized rape."
Young husband! Prove your manhood, not by yielding to unbridled lust and
cruelty, but by the exhibition of true power in _self-control_ and patience
with the helpless being confided to your care! Prolong the delightful
season of courting into and _through_ wedded life, and rich shall be your
reward. {205}

15. A WANT OF DESIRE may often prevail, and may be caused by loss of sleep,
study, constant thought, mental disturbance, anxiety, self-abuse, excessive
use of tobacco or alcoholic drink, etc. Overwork may cause debility; a man
may not have an erection for months, yet it may not be a sign of debility,
sexual lethargy or impotence. Get the mind and the physical constitution in
proper condi