ers of our
collective homes, neither better nor worse. Yet, with all the disadvantages
of ungenial homes, men may practice self-culture of manner as of intellect,
and learn by good examples to cultivate a graceful and agreeable behavior
towards others. Most men are like so many gems in the rough, which need
polishing by contact with other and better natures, to bring out their full
beauty and lustre. Some have but one side polished, sufficient only to show
the delicate graining of the interior; but to bring out the full qualities
of the gem, needs the discipline of experience, and contact with the best
examples of character in the intercourse of daily life.

8. CAPTIOUSNESS OF MANNER.--While captiousness of manner, and the habit of
disputing and contradicting every thing said, is chilling and repulsive,
the opposite habit of assenting to, and sympathizing with, every statement
made, or emotion expressed, is almost equally disagreeable. It is unmanly,
and is felt to be dishonest. "It may seem difficult," says Richard Sharp,
"to steer always between bluntness and plain dealing, between merited
praises and lavishing indiscriminate flattery; but it is very easy--good
humor, kindheartedness, and perfect simplicity, being all that are
requisite to do what is right in the right way." At the same time many are
impolite, not because they mean to be so, but because they are awkward, and
perhaps know no better. {72}

9. SHY PEOPLE.--Again many persons are thought to be stiff, reserved, and
proud, when they are only shy. Shyness is characteristic of most people of
the Teutonic race. From all that can be learned of Shakespeare, it is to be
inferred that he was an exceedingly shy man. The manner in which his plays
were sent into the world--for it is not known that he edited or authorized
the publication of a single one of them,--and the dates at which they
respectively appeared, are mere matters of conjecture.

10. SELF-FORGETFULNESS.--True politeness is best evinced by
self-forgetfulness, or self-denial in the interest of others. Mr. Garfield,
our martyred president, was a gentleman of royal type. His friend, Col.
Rockwell, says of him: "In the midst of his suffering he never forgets
others. For instance, to-day he said to me, 'Rockwell, there is a poor
soldier's widow who came to me before this thing occurred, and I promised
her, she should be provided for. I want you to see that the matter is
attended to at once.' He is the most