by the Cluddlah bridge,
But killed an otter on Cluddlah's banks.

They had no shape an' they had no style;
Their manners were bad an' their morals slack;
They were noisy, but wonderful versatile,
Andy Hartigan's bobbery pack.

* * * * *

High (Explosive) Finance.

"The issuing of premium bombs, whilst not, strictly speaking, a
lottery or gamble, would give such people what they ask for, and
that is a chance to get something unusual and tempting."

_Evening Paper._

Unusual, certainly; but tempting?

* * * * *

A War-Menu.

"GIRLS experienced Wanted to feed on Wharfdale machines."

_Nottingham Evening Post._

* * * * *

"BROADWOODWIDGER.--A new pipe organ has been installed at the
parish church. A recital was given by the Rev. C. B. Walters, of
Stokeclimsland, while a sermon was preached by the Rev. Canon
Lewis, of Launceston."--_Provincial Paper._

The Broadwoodwidger example deserves imitation. Some sermons would be
much more tolerable if they had a musical accompaniment.

* * * * *

"A mere automatic raising of the Income Tax strikes
indiscriminately at the just and the unjust; it is just as
likely to cripple the man who is supporting and educating a
large family sybarite."

_Evening Paper._

And a very good thing too. For ourselves, we have always discouraged the
growth of these bulky profligates in the domestic circle.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Lady_ (_meeting small acquaintance_). "Hullo, Ethel, so
you've started one of those things?"

_Ethel._ "Yes, we're all having to come to them. Rather a drop-down
after the Rolls-Royce, but--war-time, you know."]

* * * * *

YELLOW PRESSURE.

"Rather a funny thing happened the other day," she remarked.

"Yes?" I replied languidly.

"About you."

"Oh!" I said with animation. "Do tell me."

"It was at lunch," she explained, "at Duke's. The people at the next
table were talking about you. I couldn't help hearing a little. A man
there said he had met you in Shanghai."

"Not really!" I exclaimed.

"Yes. He met you in Shanghai."

"That's frightfully interesting," I said. "What did he say about me?"

"That's what I couldn't hear," she replied. "You see I had to pay some
attention