thy and more
tempered feelings. My recollections faded, my regrets were softened,
and I aspired most sincerely to the honour of being again useful to my
country, and to my country's King.

At first the character which I had earned, procured for me the most
gratifying reception. Dazzling prospects were held out to me. I
believed that I was treated with sincerity. This error was of short
duration. Deceived and baffled, I now understood that they were
cheating the army and myself. They affected to honour us in the
aggregate, because they were afraid of us; and they insulted us
individually, in conformity to their systematic hated. My character
was too proud to allow me to bear with the insults and the contempt
which they wished to pour out upon me. I resigned my commission.
France and her government sickened me; but my military enthusiasm had
not abated. I thought that I should be recollected by the Emperor, who
had distinguished me in the field of battle; and that he would deign
to grant that boon which was dearest to my heart; that he would allow
me to live and die in his service. I therefore made up my mind to
visit the isle of Elba.

Just, however, as I was on the point of departing, I was stopped by a
sudden thought. Abandoned, betrayed, and denied, by men whom he has
heaped with rewards and honours, will the Emperor really believe that
I am really attached to him? Perhaps he will even suspect that I am a
spy, and that the Bourbons have sent me to watch his words and
actions. I was still in relation with those persons who had formerly
enjoyed the confidence of the Emperor. Since the restoration, their
conduct had been marked by frankness and honesty. Their feelings led
them to be faithful to the person of Napoleon; their patriotism and
their principles led them to be devoted to his cause; and they had not
sought to conceal either their fidelity or their devotion. Many
efforts had been made to gain them over to the royal party, but they
had continued immoveable. I therefore thought, that whatever
recommendation I could obtain from any one of the persons in question,
would protect me from the suspicions of the Emperor; and to them I
therefore confided my plans and the causes of my uneasiness, without
hesitation or reserve.

The first, and the second, to whom I thus applied, severally assured
me that they took the most lively interest in the undertaking, and
they betrayed the most tender anxiety for its result. They