s
LAURA WILDIG, should have collected _Priscilla_ and _Cynthia_ (the
latter in tow of a third-rate millionaire husband whom she loathed) at
the same address.

It was at this juncture that _Mr. Bensley Stuart Gore_ was inspired
with a Great Thought. In order to set _Priscilla_ free (I ought to say
that he hadn't recognised her) he would elope with _Cynthia_. How
_Priscilla_ set out to frustrate this noble sacrifice and secure her
husband for herself; how she bribed the caretaker to lock him up with
her in the "Bloody Turret" of an adjacent ruin; how subsequently, at 2
A.M., in the public lounge of the hotel, she tried to work upon his
emotions by appearing in a black night-dress (surely this rather vulgar
form of allurement is _demode_ by now even in the suburbs, or, anyhow,
is not so freshly daring as she seemed to think it), I will leave you to
imagine. Even Miss IRIS HOEY'S nice soft voice and pleasant _calineries_
could not quite carry off this rather machine-made trifle. If anything
saved it, it was the acting of Mr. FRANK DENTON as _Jimmy Forde_.
Starting as _Bensley's_ "best man," he missed the wedding ceremony
through going to the wrong church, but after that he stuck close to his
friend for the remainder of the plot, and greatly endeared himself to
the audience by the excellent way in which he played the silly ass.

As for _Bensley_ himself, you might have thought that he had a
sufficiently chequered career, yet Mr. CYRIL RAYMOND got very little
colour out of the part. For the rest, Mr. H. DE LANGE, as the
millionaire, got a certain amount out of the subject of his wife's
indigestion, which was a sort of _leit-motif_ with him; but most of the
colour seemed to have gone into the scenery, admirably designed and
painted by Mr. MCCLEERY and Mr. WALTER HANN.

O. S.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Diner._ "I SAY, WAITER, I'VE ASKED THREE TIMES FOR
POTATOES."

_Waiter_ (_still under the influence of military discipline_). "BEG
PARDON, SIR, BUT I'M TOLD OFF TO CONCENTRATE ON THE CABBAGE."]

* * * * *

"LOGS TO BURN."

"_Logs to burn; logs to burn;
Logs to save the coal a turn._"

HERE's a word to make you wise
When you hear the wood-man's cries;
Never heed his usual tale
That he has splendid logs for sale,
But read these lines and really learn
The proper kinds of logs to burn.

Oak logs will warm you well