Sidebottoms was
gloriously drunk in less than an hour, and made such a demonstration of
that fact to his sober and discreet aunt, that she caused his head to be
soused repeatedly in cold water, and then flogged him into sobriety.

It is not to be supposed that the disappearance of the village grocer from
his usual post for a whole day together, and particularly on Christmas,
that busiest of all days, failed to excite a degree of general curiosity
and inquisitiveness as to the cause of his absence; but to the many
inquiries of his friends touching that subject, he only replied by shaking
his head and saying that time would show. Enough had leaked out, however,
to satisfy the public that the affair was shrouded in a mystery that was
worth the trouble of penetrating; so that when on the morning of the first
of January immediately succeeding the year that had just closed, Mr.
Thomas Hardesty and Miss Margaret Sidebottom were summoned each by three
lusty cheers from the town-crier to appear before his worship the police
judge of Idleberg, the populace rushed to the scene of judicial conflict,
until the humble and contracted audience-chamber was crowded to
overflowing.

The witnesses summoned in the case were Mrs. Jenkins, Jake Crow, and
Master Dick Sidebottom. In due time the defendant came into court, leaning
on the arm of her next friend and privy counsellor, Mrs. Jenkins, who as
usual was attended by a bevy of young Jenkinses. Before embarking in this
trying embassy, the ladies, by the way, had gone to the Madeira bottle;
the one complaining of a pain in the breast, and the other of general
nervousness. Mr. Hardesty was unattended, and so were his remaining
witnesses.

The warrant gravely charged the defendant with stealing or causing to be
stolen from the plaintiff, on the night of the twenty-fourth of December
last past, a pair of boots and a pair of breeches, whose respective values
were duly set forth. The reading of this document created quite a
sensation throughout the court-room. Mrs. Jenkins was called and sworn.
She deposed that on the night specified in the warrant, she had taken tea
at the defendant's house; that she was suddenly called home, missing
thereby a great deal of anticipated pleasure; that the defendant passed
the next day, being Christmas-day, at her (witness's) house; and witness
did not at any time see defendant steal or cause to be stolen from
plaintiff the said boots and breeches, nor did she