ed, delicate, and
high-minded girl should set her face against it, and, by scrupulously
refraining from such jokes herself, give no one a right to indulge in
them at her expense.

As soon as young ladies go into general society, they are liable to
receive attentions that indicate a particular regard, and, long before
they are really old enough to form any such ties, they often receive
matrimonial overtures; it is therefore highly necessary to know how to
treat them. The offer of a man's heart and hand is the greatest
compliment he can pay you, and, however undesirable to you those gifts
may be, they should be courteously and kindly declined; and since a
refusal is, to most men, not only a disappointment, but a mortification,
it should always be prevented, if possible. Men have various ways of
cherishing and declaring their attachment; those who indicate the bias
of their feelings in many intelligible ways, before they make a direct
offer, can generally be spared the pain of a refusal. If you do not mean
to accept a gentleman who is paying you very marked attentions, you
should avoid receiving him whenever you can; you should not allow him to
escort you; you should show your displeasure when joked about him; and,
if sounded by a mutual friend, let your want of reciprocal feelings be
very apparent.

You may, however, be taken entirely by surprise, because there are men
who are so secret in these matters that they do not let even the object
of their affections suspect their preference, until they suddenly
declare themselves lovers and suitors. In such a case as that, you will
need all your presence of mind, or the hesitation produced by surprise
may give rise to false hopes. If you have any doubt upon the matter, you
may fairly ask time to consider of it, on the grounds of your never
having thought of the gentleman in the light of a lover before; but, if
you are resolved against the suit, endeavor to make your answer so
decided as to finish the affair at once. Inexperienced girls sometimes
feel so much the pain they are inflicting, that they use phrases which
feed a lover's hopes; but this is mistaken tenderness; your answer
should be as decided as it is courteous.

Whenever an offer is made in writing, you should reply to it as soon as
possible; and, having in this case none of the embarrassment of a
personal interview, you can make such a careful selection of words as
will best convey your meaning. If the person is es