great a Master of the Political
Scratch as any the most eminent Writer of the Age. I shall only add,
that in order to outshine all this Modern Race of _Syncopists_, and
thoroughly content my _English_ Readers, I intend shortly to publish a
SPECTATOR, that shall not have a single Vowel in it.

[Footnote 1: For 'Marlborough' and 'Treasurer.']

[Footnote 2: [Reader.]]

* * * * *

No. 568. Friday, July 16, 1714. Addison.

'--Dum recitas, incipit esse Tuus--'

Mart.

I was Yesterday in a Coffee-House not far from the _Royal Exchange_,
where I observed three Persons in close Conference over a Pipe of
Tobacco; upon which, having filled one for my own use, I lighted it at
the little Wax Candle that stood before them; and after having thrown in
two or three Whiffs amongst them, sat down and made one of the Company.
I need not tell my Reader, that lighting a Man's Pipe at the same
Candle, is looked upon among Brother-smokers as an Overture to
Conversation and Friendship. As we here lay our Heads together in a very
amicable Manner, being intrenched under a Cloud of our own raising, I
took up the last SPECTATOR, and casting my Eye over it, _The_ SPECTATOR,
says I, _is very witty to-Day;_ upon which a lusty lethargick old
Gentleman, who sat at the Upper-end of the Table, having gradually blown
out of his Mouth a great deal of Smoke, which he had been collecting for
some Time before, _Ay,_ says he, _more witty than wise I am afraid._ His
Neighbour who sat at his right Hand immediately coloured, and being an
angry Politician, laid down his Pipe with so much Wrath that he broke it
in the Middle, and by that Means furnished me with a Tobacco-stopper. I
took it up very sedately, and looking him full in the Face, made use of
it from Time to Time all the while he was speaking: _This fellow,_ says
he, _can't for his Life keep out of Politicks. Do you see how he abuses_
four _great Men here?_ I fix'd my Eye very attentively on the Paper, and
asked him if he meant those who were represented by Asterisks.
_Asterisks,_ says he, _do you call them? they are all of them Stars. He
might as well have put Garters to 'em. Then pray do but mind the two or
three next Lines? Ch-rch and P-dd-ing in the same Sentence! Our Clergy
are very much beholden to him._ Upon this the third Gentleman, who was
of a mild Disposition, and, as I found, a Whig in his Hea