like that? I could tell you something
about myself a great deal more extraordinary than that!'
'And what is that something, if I may know?'
'Oh, just this. In those Moscow days I used to have a tryst at
nights--with whom, would you imagine? with a young lime-tree at the
bottom of my garden. I used to embrace its slender and graceful trunk,
and I felt as though I were embracing all nature, and my heart melted
and expanded as though it really were taking in the whole of nature.
That's what I was then. And do you think, perhaps, I didn't write
verses? Why, I even composed a whole drama in imitation of Manfred.
Among the characters was a ghost with blood on his breast, and not his
own blood, observe, but the blood of all humanity.... Yes, yes, you
need not wonder at that. But I was beginning to tell you about my love
affair. I made the acquaintance of a girl----'
'And you gave up your trysts with the lime-tree?' inquired Alexandra
Pavlovna.
'Yes; I gave them up. This girl was a sweet, good creature, with clear,
lively eyes and a ringing voice.'
'You give an excellent description of her,' commented Alexandra Pavlovna
with a smile.
'You are such a severe critic,' retorted Lezhnyov. 'Well, this girl
lived with her old father.... But I will not enter into details; I will
only tell you that this girl was so kind-hearted, if you only asked
her for half a cup of tea she would give it you brimming over! Two days
after first meeting her I was wild over her, and on the seventh day I
could hold out no longer, and confessed it in full to Rudin. At that
time I was completely under his influence, and his influence, I will
tell you frankly, was beneficial in many things. He was the first person
who did not treat me with contempt, but tried to lick me into shape. I
loved Pokorsky passionately, and felt a kind of awe before his purity of
soul, but I came closer to Rudin. When he heard about my love, he fell
into an indescribable ecstasy, congratulated me, embraced me, and at
once fell to disserting and enlarging upon all the dignity of my new
position. I pricked up my ears.... Well, you know how he can talk. His
words had an extraordinary effect on me. I at once assumed an amazing
consequence in my own eyes, and I put on a serious exterior and left off
laughing. I remember I used even to go about at that time with a kind
of circumspection, as though I had a sacred chalice within me, full of
a priceless liquid, which I was afrai
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