andkerchief.
We found Madame Daniel at the prefecture in high feather. I danced with
her so often that it excited comment; I paid her a thousand compliments
and she replied as best she could.
Brigitte was near us, and her eyes never left us. I can hardly describe
what I felt; it was both pleasure and pain. I clearly saw that she was
jealous; but instead of being moved by it I did all I could to increase
her suffering.
On the return I expected to hear her reproaches; she made none, but
remained silent for three days. When I came to see her she would
greet me kindly; then we would sit down facing each other, both of
us preoccupied, hardly exchanging a word. The third day she spoke,
overwhelmed me with bitter reproaches, told me that my conduct
was unreasonable, that she could not account for it except on the
supposition that I had ceased to love her; but she could not endure this
life and would resort to anything rather than submit to my caprices and
coldness. Her eyes were full of tears, and I was about to ask her pardon
when some words escaped her that were so bitter that my pride revolted.
I replied in the same tone, and our quarrel became violent.
I told her that it was absurd to suppose that I could not inspire enough
confidence in my mistress to escape the necessity of explaining my every
action; that Madame Daniel was only a pretext; that she very well knew
I did not think of that woman seriously; that her pretended jealousy was
nothing but the expression of her desire for despotic power, and that,
moreover, if she had tired of this life, it was easy enough to put an
end to it.
"Very well," she replied; "it is true that I do not recognize you as
the same man I first knew; you doubtless performed a little comedy to
persuade me that you loved me; you are tired of your role and can think
of nothing but abuse. You suspect me of deceiving you upon the first
word, and I am under no obligation to submit to your insults. You are no
longer the man I loved."
"I know what your sufferings are," I replied. "I can not make a step
without exciting your alarm. Soon I shall not be permitted to address a
word to any one but you. You pretend that you have been abused in order
that you may be justified in offering insult; you accuse me of tyranny
in order that I may become your slave. Since I trouble your repose, I
leave you in peace; you will never see me again."
We parted in anger, and I passed an entire day without s
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