what
Have I offended?

_Con_. What!--I hate an ape!

_Wild_. An ape!

_Con_. Who bade thee ape the gentleman?
And put on dress that don't belong to thee?
Go! change thee with thy whipper-in or huntsman,
And none will doubt thou wearest thy own clothes.

_Wild_. A pretty pass! Mocked for the very dress
I bought to pleasure her! Untoward things
Are women! [Aside. Walks backwards and forwards.]

_Con_. Do you call that walking? Pray
What makes you twist your body so, and take
Such pains to turn your toes out? If you'd walk,
Walk thus! Walk like a man, as I do now!

[Walking]

Is yours the way a gentleman should walk?
You neither walk like man nor gentleman!
I'll show you how you walk. [Mimicking him.]
Do you call that walking?

_Wild_. My thanks, for a drill-sergeant twice a day
For her sake! [Aside.]

_Con_. Now, of all things in the world,
What made you dance last night?

_Wild_. What made me dance?

_Con_. Right! It was anything but dancing! Steps
That never came from dancing-school--nor English,
Nor Scotch, nor Irish! You must try to cut,
And how you did it! [Cuts.] That's the way to cut!
And then your chasse! Thus you went, and thus.

[Mimicking him.]

As though you had been playing at hop, step,
And jump!--and yet you looked so monstrous pleased,
And played the simpleton with such a grace,
Taking their tittering for compliment!
I could have boxed you soundly for't. Ten times
Denied I that I knew you.

_Wild_. Twenty guineas
Were better in the gutter thrown than gone
To fee a dancing-master! [Aside.]

_Con_. And you're grown
An amateur in music!--What fine air
Was that you praised last night?--"The Widow Jones!"
A country jig they turned into a song.
You asked "If it had come from Italy?"
The lady blushed and held her peace, and then
You blushed and said, "Perhaps it came from France!"
And then when blushed the lady more, nor spoke,
You said, "At least it came from Germany!"
The air was English!--a true English air;
A downright English air!--a common air;
Old as "When Good King Arthur." Not a square,
Court, alley, street, or lane about the town,
In which it is not whistled, played, or sung!
But you must have it come from Italy,
Or Germany, or France. Go home! Go home!
To Lincolnshire, and mind thy dog and horn!
You'll never do for town! "The Widow Jones"
To come from Italy! Stay not in town,
Or you'll be married to the Widow Jones,
Since you've fo