ble o' governin a' yer actions--ay, and as it were, even
yer very thoughts--lookin wi' a keen and carefu ee after yer maist
minute affairs, regulatin yer conduct, keepin yer siller, directin yer
financial, domestic, personal, private, and public operations; and, in
short, _thinkin_ for ye--how is it possible for a man to see sae
muckle care taen wi' him and his concerns, without bein filled wi'
gratitude and affection to her wha labours sae officiously for his
guid?"

"Mr Andrew Todd," said the deacon, impatiently, "you are describin ane
o' the maist pitifu and contemptible spirits that ever warmed the
scaly body o' a reptile that has nae sting. What man wi' a spark o'
independence in his breast would think o' resignin his judgment into
the hands o' a woman? They are guid craturs in their ain place, and
baith interestin and usefu when they are occupied in conductin the
affairs o' their houses, obeyin the commands o' their husbands, and
ministerin to his slichtest wishes, as if every look were an act of
parliament; but, to stoop to mak a woman a counsellor, to gie her a
vote in the great council o' the noble thoughts o' man's divine mind!
Unheard o' humiliation! Why, man, a woman is only the twenty-fourth
part o' a man, seein we hae, as the doctors say, twenty-four ribs; and
we hae the authority o' Scripture for sayin that, at the very best,
she is only a help to man. She was, besides, the beginnin o' a' evil.
And yet this fractional thing, this help, this unlucky author o' the
waes o' mortals, ye dignify and raise up into the very place and power
o' yer inheritance frae Adam; reversin the order o' nature, degradin
our noble sex and makin laughinstocks o' a' married men."

"I'm no sure if there's muckle practical truth in a' this, deacon,"
said Andrew, smiling good-naturedly. "Suppose, for an instant, that,
besides the satisfaction and pleasure I derive frae nestlin safely in
the arms o' my wife's judgment, and courin aneath her protectin
wing--whilk gies me, sometimes, a flap I like as weel as her kindest
embrace--I hae discovered that her thoughts and reflections are a
thousand times better than the boxmaster's--what say ye to that,
deacon? I hae seen an oaken tree twenty-four times bigger than its
parent, and yet a' it ever had to thank the auld stock for was an
acorn. Sae, in place o' only bein a twenty-fourth part, as you say, o'
man, I am satisfied I hae scarcely a twenty-fourth part o' my wife's
mind; and will o