r with you I should violate my own chastity and expose
myself to consequences I tremble to think of."

"You do not love me, then?"

"What are you saying? I adore you, and I am very sorry you are not a
woman."

"I love you too, but your desire makes me laugh; for I would rather not
be turned into a woman to please you, especially as I expect I should not
think you nearly as beautiful. Sit down, my dear, and let me see your
fine hair flowing over your beautiful body."

"Do you want me to take off my chemise?"

"Of course; how handsome you look without it. Let me suck your pretty
breasts, as I am your baby."

She granted me this privilege, and looking at me with a face full of
pleasure, she allowed me to press her naked body to my breast, not
seeing, or pretending not to see, the acuteness of my enjoyment. She then
said,

"If such delights as these were allowed friendship, I should say it is
better than love; for I have never experienced so great pleasure as when
you put your lips to my bosom. Let me do the same to you."

"I wish you could, but you will find nothing there."

"Never mind; it will amuse us."

After she had fulfilled her desire, we spent a quarter of an hour in
mutual embraces, and my excitement was more than I could bear.

"Tell me truly," said I, "amidst our kisses, amidst these ecstacies which
we call child-like, do you not feel a desire for something more?"

"I confess that I do, but such desires are sinful; and as I am sure that
your passions are as high as mine, I think we had better stop our
agreeable employment; for, papa dear, our friendship is becoming burning
love, is it not?"

"Yes, love, and love that cannot be overcome."

"I know it."

"If you know it, let us perform to love the sweetest of all sacrifices."

"No, no; on the contrary, let us stop and be more prudent in the future,
lest we become the victims of love. If you love me, you should say so
too."

With these words she slipped gently from my arms, put back her beautiful
hair under her cap, and when I had helped her on with her chemise, the
coarseness of which horrified me, I told her she might calm herself. I
told her how sorry I felt to see her delicate body frayed by so coarse a
stuff, and she told me it was of the usual material, and that all the
nuns wore chemises of the same kind.

My mind was in a state of consternation, for the constraint I had imposed
on myself seemed much greater than the utmost pleasure I