I had lost nearly three hundred
louis, but I had risked more than five hundred, and I looked on the
difference as pure profit. If I had gained as much as I had lost I should
probably have contented myself with giving her ten louis, but I fancied I
was losing the fifty louis on a card. I have always liked spending money,
but I have never been careless with it except in gaming.

I was in an ecstasy to see the face of my M---- M---- light up with delight
and astonishment.

"You must be very rich," said she.

"Don't think it, dearest, but I love you passionately; and not being able
to give you anything by reason of your unfortunate vow of poverty, I
lavish what I possess on this worthy woman, to induce her to spare
nothing for your comfort while you are here. Perhaps, too--though it is
not a definite thought--I hope that it will make you love me more."

"How can I love you more than I do? The only thing that makes me unhappy
is the idea of returning to the convent."

"But you told me yesterday that it was exactly that idea which made you
happy."

"I have changed my mind since yesterday. I passed a cruel night, for as
soon as I fell asleep I was in your arms, and I awoke again and again on
the point of consummating the greatest of crimes."

"You did not go through such a struggle before committing the same crime
with a man you did--not love."

"It is exactly because I did not love him that my sin struck me as
venial. Do you understand what I mean?"

"It's a piece of superstitious metaphysics, but I understand you
perfectly."

"You have made me happy, and I feel very grateful to you, and I feel glad
and certain of conquering when I reflect that your situation is different
to mine."

"I will not dispute it with you, although I am sorry for what you say."

"Why?"

"Because you think yourself in duty bound to refuse caresses which would
not hurt you, and which would give me new life and happiness."

"I have thought it over."

"Are you weeping?"

"Yes, and what is more, these tears are dear to me."

"I do not understand."

"I have two favours to ask of you."

"Say on, and be sure you will obtain what you ask."

CHAPTER XXI

End of My Adventure with the Nun from Chamberi--My Flight
from Aix

"Yesterday," said the charming nun, "you left in my hands the two
portraits of my Venetian sister. I want you to give them to me."

"They are yours."

"I thank you. My second favour is, that y