at he would ask his daughter a great many questions,
and I feared lest C---- C----, in her trouble and confusion, should betray
herself. She felt herself that it might be so, and I could see how
painfully anxious she was. I was extremely uneasy myself, and I suffered
much because, not knowing how her father would look at the matter, I
could not give her any advice. As a matter of course, it was necessary
for her to conceal certain circumstances which would have prejudiced his
mind against us; yet it was urgent to tell him the truth and to shew
herself entirely submissive to his will. I found myself placed in a
strange position, and above all, I regretted having made the
all-important application, precisely because it was certain to have too
decisive a result. I longed to get out of the state of indecision in
which I was, and I was surprised to see my young mistress less anxious
than I was. We parted with heavy hearts, but with the hope that the next
night would again bring us together, for the contrary did not seem to us
possible.
The next day, after dinner, M. Ch. C---- called upon M. de Bragadin, but I
did not shew myself. He remained a couple of hours with my three friends,
and as soon as he had gone I heard that his answer had been what the
mother had told me, but with the addition of a circumstance most painful
to me--namely, that his daughter would pass the four years which were to
elapse, before she could think of marriage, in a convent. As a palliative
to his refusal he had added, that, if by that time I had a
well-established position in the world, he might consent to our wedding.
That answer struck me as most cruel, and in the despair in which it threw
me I was not astonished when the same night I found the door by which I
used to gain admittance to C---- C---- closed and locked inside.
I returned home more dead than alive, and lost twenty-four hours in that
fearful perplexity in which a man is often thrown when he feels himself
bound to take a decision without knowing what to decide. I thought of
carrying her off, but a thousand difficulties combined to prevent the
execution of that scheme, and her brother was in prison. I saw how
difficult it would be to contrive a correspondence with my wife, for I
considered C---- C---- as such, much more than if our marriage had received
the sanction of the priest's blessing or of the notary's legal contract.
Tortured by a thousand distressing ideas, I made up my mi
|