or one
thing, which is, not to be expelled ignominiously from the house in
which I was never the rightful owner. It is the act of abdication,
George--the moment of dethronement, that I could not face. It is an
avowal of great weakness, I know; but I struggle against it in vain.
Every morning when I awoke the same thought met me, am I a mere
pretender here? and by some horrible perversity, which I cannot explain,
the place, the house, the grounds, the gardens, the shrubberies, the
deer-park, grew inexpressibly more dear to me than ever I had felt them.
There was not an old ash on the lawn that I did not love; the shady
walks through which I had often passed without a thought upon them grew
now to have a hold upon and attraction for me that I cannot describe.
What shall I be without these dear familiar spots; what will become of
me when I shall no longer have these deep glades, these silent woods, to
wander in? This became at last so strong upon me that I felt there was
but one course to take--I must leave the place at once, and never return
to it till I knew that it was my own beyond dispute. I could do that
now, while the issue was still undetermined, which would have broken my
heart if driven to do on compulsion. Of course this was a matter between
me and my own conscience; I had not courage to speak of it to a lawyer,
nor did I. Sedley, however, was vexed that I should take any steps
without consulting him. He wrote me a letter--almost an angry
letter--and he threatened--for it really amounted to a threat, to
say that, to a client so decidedly bent on guiding his own case,
he certainly felt his services could scarcely be advantageously
contributed. I rejoined, perhaps not without irritation; and I am now
expecting by each post either his submission to my views, or to hear
that he has thrown up the direction of my cause."

"And he was your father's adviser for years!" said L'Estrange, with a
tone almost despondent.

"But for which he never would have assumed the tone of dictation he has
used towards me. Lord Culduff, I remember, said, 'The first duty of a
man on coming to his property is to change his agent, and his next to
get rid of the old servants.' I do not like the theory, George; but from
a certain point of view it is not without reason."

"I suspect that neither you nor I want to look at life from that point
of view," said L'Estrange, with some emotion.

"Not till we can't help, I 'm sure; but these crafty