the way of amusement, looked in to see the
sport. The Fourth Senior grandly condescended to witness the vulgar
exploits of their juniors, and the other classes were most of them
represented by one or more spectators.

The programme had been carefully got up. Stephen took the chair
solemnly at the appointed hour, and with a great deal of stammering
announced that the proceedings were now about to commence, and then sat
down. An awful pause ensued. At first it was borne with interest, then
with impatience; then, when Stephen began to whisper to Paul, and Paul
began to signal to Bramble, and Bramble gesticulated in dumb show at
Padger, and all four whispered together, and finally looked very gravely
in an opposite direction to the audience, then they began to be amused.

"Oh," said Stephen, very red, turning round abruptly after this awkward
pause had continued for a minute or two--"oh, that was wrong; he doesn't
begin, and the other fellow's away. Look here, Bramble, do your thing
now."

"No, I can't," whispered Bramble in an audible voice. "I've forgotten
the first line."

"Something about a kid asleep," suggested Padger, also audibly.

"Oh, yes," said Bramble, starting up and blushing very red as he began.

"`Lines on Seeing my Wife and Two Children Asleep'--Hood."

This modest announcement of his subject was overwhelming in itself, and
was greeted with such yells of laughter that the poor elocutionist found
it utterly impossible to go on. He tried once or twice, but never got
beyond the first half line.

"And has the earth--" and here he stuck, but in answer to the cheers
began again, looking round for Padger to help.

"And has the earth--(Go it, Padger, give a fellow a leg up, can't you?)"

"I can't find the place," said Padger, very hot and flurried, and
whipping over the pages of a book with his moist thumb.

"And has the earth--(Look in the index, you lout! Oh, won't I give it
to you afterwards!)" once more began the wretched Bramble. He got no
farther. Even had he remembered the words his voice could never have
risen above the laughter, which continued as long as he remained on his
feet.

He retired at length in dudgeon, and Stephen called on Paul for a song.
This went off better, only everybody stamped the time with his feet, so
that the singer could neither be heard for the row nor seen for the
dust. After that followed another "reading." This time the subject was
a humorous one--"Ben B