id, however, that in my view the proposal which he had made to
me could not be entertained. I felt the personal misfortune and
public inconvenience of being thrown out of party connection; but a
man at the bottom of the well must not try to get out, however
disagreeable his position, until a rope or a ladder is put down to
him. In this case my clear opinion was that by joining the
government I should shock the public sentiment and should make no
essential, no important, change in their position.

I expressed much regret that accidental causes had kept back from
my view at the critical moment the real extent of Lord Derby's
proposals in February; that I answered him then as an individual
with respect to myself individually.... I could not separate from
those with whom I had been acting all my life long, in concert with
whom all the habits of my mind and my views of public affairs had
been formed, to go into what might justly be called a cabinet of
strangers, since it contained no man to whom I had ever been a
colleague, with the single exception of Lord Derby, and that twelve
or fourteen years ago.

While I did not conceive that public feeling would or ought to
approve this separation, on the other hand I felt that my
individual junction would and could draw no material accession of
strength to the cabinet. He made the marked admission that if my
acceptance must be without the _approval_ of friends, that must
undoubtedly be an element of great weight in the case. This showed
clearly that Lord Derby was looking to me in the first place, and
then to others beyond me. He did not, however, found upon this any
request, and he took my answer as an absolute refusal. His tone
was, I need not say, very cordial; and I think I have stated all
that was material in the conversation, except that he signified
they were under the belief that Herbert entertained strong personal
feelings towards Disraeli.

Returning home, however, at seven this evening I found a note from
Walpole expressing Lord Derby's wish in the following words: 'That
before you finally decide on refusing to accept the offer he has
made either of the colonies or of the India board he wishes you
would consult Sir James Graham and Lord Aberdeen.' In order to meet
this wish, I have put down th